Page 23 of Mister Mom

“Are you joining us?” Vance turns around and asks.

I nod, setting one foot in front of the other. I’ve never seen Payne have a conversation and be so well-behaved with another adult.

Sitting down, I take my fork and knife to cut up his blueberry pancakes.

“What’s your favorite emoji, Mommy?”

“Let’s guess,” Vance says and Payne’s eyes light up. “Anger?”

I narrow my eyes to a smiling Vance.

“Winks?” Payne asks.

Truthfully, I’m twenty-eight years old. I don’t really have a favorite emoji and since I don’t have very many friends who I text on a consistent basis, there’s no emoji I use more than others.

“Yeah.” I smile to my son, pouring syrup over his pancakes.

“I would have thought you’d be more of a face with rolling eyes emoji,” Vance says with a straight face, taking a bite of his pancakes.

I stare at him blankly.

“Oh, I think I’m seeing the unamused emoji face right now.” Vance points with his fork at me and Payne peeks over to see.

“It’s a smirking emoji face now,” Vance says.

My lips start turning up even though I do my best to keep them straight.

“There we go. You’ve got a grinning emoji face now.”

I shake my head, keeping my eyes focused down on my omelet.

“Payne, is your mom ticklish?”

Payne’s fork drops on his plate, in the syrup of course. His fingers start digging into my ribcage, not at all like tickling, more like tiny little daggers, but it’s his way.

“Keep going. She’s almost to a grinning emoji with smiling eyes face.”

I lose all control of my face at that point and start laughing, tickling Payne back.

“You’re talented, buddy. You got her to rolling on the floor laughing emoji.”

Payne raises his arm up in the air and fist-pumps. “I’m awesome.”

We both look at one another and laugh at his serious face.

“I think we should ask Vance why he knows so much about emojis,” I say with a smile.

Vance places his fork down, wipes his mouth with his napkin, and then holds his arms out. “Because I’m one cool guy.”

Payne’s smiling face and nodding head say he agrees and I can’t pretend that I don’t either.

* * *

All during breakfast Vance tries to explain the different Ninja Turtles and superheroes to Payne, who keeps thinking Rafael must be a superhero. Eventually they agree to let the Turtles be superheroes, too.

I dig another five dollars out of my purse so that Payne can go back to the games. Vance and I need to finish our earlier conversation.

“Promise, no putting your hand in?” I hold the five dollars up in the air.

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