Page 83 of Pawn

Was that who got me out of that house? The night’s all a blur.

My knees fall to the floor, hitting the wood but the pain on my skin is nowhere close to the pain in my chest. “But he killed our parents.”

Willow kneels in front of me, a hand on my shoulder, her forehead to mine. “He was trying to protect his parents. The minute he realized people were inside he did his best and got to you.”

“Willow, you’re going to have to give us more than that,” Damien says.

She takes a breath, my eyes on the ground. I can’t even look at her.

“A scandal got out and our dad was gonna report on it,” she says. “Jordan overheard everything and wanted to do something, he just … didn’t think they’d die.”

“Well, they did.” Tears stream down my face and while I want nothing more than to hug my sister, I can’t. Not now.

CRASH!

A loud smash comes from downstairs, hoots and hollers following. Allie’s eyes widen as she heads for the door, pushing by Willow. “Fuck!” she yells on her way out.

Lea follows her before she stops, turning around. “We’ll figure this out. I promise. Please don’t do anything rash.” With a tight smile, she leaves me on the floor in front of my sister.

Damien passes me a lit joint and while I shouldn’t take anything else, he knows I need it. Willow places her hands on my shoulders and all I can ask is, “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say anything?” She wasn’t there to see the flames, the smoke, the chaos. Tears stream onto my knees and she wipes them.

Willow shakes her head against mine. “I—I don’t know …”

“The same reason you didn’t tell Willow you were looking into it,” Damien speaks up. “Seems like she wanted to protect you.”

“You were looking into it?” Willow asks.

“I didn’t want to scare you,” I say, sniffling back more tears as Willow’s phone chimes from her pocket. “How can you be okay with this?”

“I wasn’t at first and we’re still working on things but,” she pauses, hesitating and when I finally meet her eyes she looks lost in thought. Like that dazed look Damien gets when he’s sitting across from me. Or on top of me.

“Low?” I ask.

“No shit, Willow,” Damien snorts and he gets a glare from her. “You in love with a Huang?”

“Not in love!” she says, way too loud in my face.

“But in something?” I ask and she doesn’t meet my stare. I groan, “Low.”

“He’s not a bad person! Like how Lea’s not really that bad and like Damien. We all have our stories.”

“Fuck,” I mutter, feeling both sober and drunk at the same damn time. Willow’s right. “Kinda like that kid.”

“What kid?”

Damien puts her hand on her shoulder. “She’s drunk.” Saving me from having to explain how I blamed myself for killing the kid from The Grove who died from an overdose.

If it wasn’t for Damien pointing out I shouldn’t hold myself responsible for that unfortunate event, I’d still be carrying that guilt. That also means death has followed me much longer than it has with Damien.

Falling back against the floor, my legs tucked under me, the ceiling blurs. “This is fucking unreal. The entire time it was him.”

A chime fills the room. Willow’s phone.

She sighs, “I have to find Bella. She’s freaking out but I’ll be back.” Her face comes into view, blocking the light. “Will you be okay?”

I shrug.

“She’ll be okay.” Damien sounds reassuring but I’m not sure if I will.

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