Page 44 of Pawn

“Well?” She’s still impatient but her voice isn’t that demanding snip she usually gives. It’s soft and quiet. Like she’s afraid of my answer. Or I’ve fucked her into exhaustion.

My hand starts to wonder, a lamp by the bed the only light in the room. Her head rests on my chest while my fingers walk down her ass. The room smells like wood, Jo and sex and I’d be happy if we never left. When I reach to my left, she hangs onto my chest.

“Relax, Rowland, I’m not going anywhere,” I say, reaching to pull my wallet from my jacket. Opening it up, I grab the folded polaroid. “Found it in my dad’s office.” I’m trying to be real with her. That’s what love is, right? Besides, she can tell me more about this photo than I know. At least I hope.

“Your dad had a photo of my dad?”

That confirms it. “And your dad had his eyes on my mom.”

She leans over on her side, her hair sliding off my chest as she takes the photo from between my fingers. Elbow on the floor, palm on her cheek, she studies it, her long lashes fluttering as if she’s thinking. “Did you know about this? About them?”

“Not until he died.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

Sitting up, I push my back against the wall. “You put your folks on a pedestal. I see that photo you always have in your room.” I shrug. “Didn’t wanna fuck up your childhood any more than it already is.”

Staring at the photo, a blur comes to her eye. “You didn’t do that, they did that.” Turning it over, she places the photo against my chest, sitting up against the wall with me. My eyes drop to her naked body, mesmerizing in the dim light. “Do you think my mom knew? And what the fuck does that make us?”

Placing my palm on her cheek I can’t help but pull her close, my finger under her chin.

Mine.

“Fucked up,” I answer before kissing her again. “But as long as there’s an us, that’s all that matters.”

She smiles against my face, her hand coming to my hair, raking her nails through it as her eyes search my face. “We still got a mystery to solve. Do you think Lea knows anything?”

“If we get her to ask her folks she can find out more.”

“You’re crazy.” Her hand falls, looking at me like an idiot. “She’s not going back there. I know she got her parents to call off the search but putting her back in that environment would be insane.”

“Alright, chill.” My arm moves around her, pulling her close. “And I am crazy. About you.”

She snorts. “That’s cheesy as fuck.” The smile on her face doesn’t last, the gears in her head turning again. “Besides our parents’ philandering. Do you think your dad killed them?

“Because of the affair?” I thought about it and I’m not gonna lie. “There’s a chance. He did go to ERA but it was a long time ago.” My head hits the wall. “At least if we find out the truth, I won’t have to kill him.”

“Like we killed your aunt?” She bites her lip when she says it. Still worried about the whole thing but I made sure there’s no trace. And for Baldy’s sake, there better not be. Jo’s my girl and it’s my job to make her feel like she has nothing to worry about.

She squeals when I pull her on top of me, wrapping her legs around me and when I get up, she hangs on tight. “You have nothing to worry about, Jo,” I promise, pressing her against the brick wall. “You understand?”

Her eyes drop from mine as I lead us over to the bed, sitting down so she straddles me. With my finger under her chin, I lift her eyes back to mine. She sounds like she’s been wearing a coat of guilt. Is that why she pulled away?

“It was self-defense, you know that, right?” I ask. “You don’t have to feel guilty for protecting yourself or for protecting me.”

“Why does it always feel like the worst happens when we’re together?” Her forehead touches mine and my body feels like it’s floating the way her eyes bore into me.

“You want stability? I’ll give you that, Jo. At least, I’ll try.” Pulling her as close as I can, her chest presses into mine, hearts booming together. “But I couldn’t imagine anything worse than not being with you.”

Twelve

Jo

Being in love with Damien King feels better than any drug.

Better than any high.

I’m on cloud twelve. Over the fucking moon! Like I’m in a tampon commercial. And all it took was for both of us to be real with ourselves and drop the l-bomb.

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