Page 9 of Knight

But I can’t.

The room starts to spin, a tightness in my stomach following. Leaning against the wall across from me, I’m clutching my chest. I can still feel the warmth from his body on the wall but I’m so fucking cold. My legs shake as I’m trying my hardest to steady myself. It’s no use so I try to use what breath I have to call his name. I open my mouth, my head pressed against the wall before, the entire room goes black and shit … I’m about to hit the ground.

“Jo?” Firm hands catch my fall and while I know someone has me, they sound distant. Like a dream. “Jo?” The voice calls again, a smooth deep voice. One without a slur. I hardly register who it is before a warmth engulfs me along with the scent of expensive cologne.

“Do you guys have water?” The voice asks, his face a blur when I open my eyes.

“Here.” A girl’s voice is next. “You okay, Jo? See? I told you idiots not to stop at Waldorfs.”

A bottle comes to my mouth and I grasp at it, both hands wrapping around the plastic. Tilting my head to the stone ceiling, cold water flows over my tongue, down my parched throat. It’s soothing. Relieving. The fogginess starts to dissipate and when I bring the bottle down, Christian’s head comes into view.

The light from the ceiling casts a halo around his brown hair. It’s usually shaggy but today it’s held in place, emerald eyes looking at me under furrowed brows. I’m in his arms. They’re warm. Steady. A smile spreads across than tanned face when I blink. “Thank god! Are you okay? What happened?” His eyes search mine and the room tilts as he puts me back on my feet, his hand on my shoulder. He cleans up like Leo at the Oscars and while I look a mess, Christian Perez is my angel. A contrast to the interaction I had with Damien.

“There she is!” Nate Quinfrey appears next to Christian, lowering his aviators on his nutmeg nose. “Pale, but alive.”

“Barely,” I mutter, relief settling in. Was that a panic attack?

Allie comes closer, fanning me with a white pamphlet. She glances back at Nate. “If you took another second she’d end up like Seb—”

“You didn’t expect me to come here without new Versace shades did you?” Nate asks in a very serious tone. “There’s press. Allie Perez, you know me better than that.”

“What’s going on, Jo?” Christian searches my eyes, moving a curl out of my face. Allie moves to grill Nate behind him. His words a blanket of comfort in this cold, bare room. He slips off his black coat. It reveals a black and grey suit fitted to his frame as he wraps it over my shoulders.

“This is all just … a lot.” I take another swig of water.

“Well, you look like you could use some fresh air,” Nate says, reaching into his black blazer. He pulls out a chunky joint. Only he would offer me a joint after I pass out. Legend.

“And some food?” Christian reaches into the pocket of his coat, his hand pressing against my thigh. He pulls out something in a shiny wrapper, “Bro Bar” in jaggedy letters. “It’s not much but Coach gives us these and they usually do the trick.” He gives me one of his charming winks, the one where his emerald eyes catch the light.

Looking at the joint, my mouth waters. So does my mind.

When I nod, the smile on Christian’s face grows. “Alright,” he says, glancing around. “Let’s head out back while we’ve got time.” His hand presses against my back as the three of them lead me down a narrow hall.

“Well, it can’t be that bad if you’re still down for a smoke, right?” Nate asks, his voice coming from behind me. But he has no idea.

* * *

Thank fuck for these guys.

After sneaking a session, I’m starting to feel better. More relaxed. I even devoured that “Bro Bar.” I’m hoping this high lasts through the service, my head a little lighter.

The main room is quiet when we enter, save for some whispers and sobs. Wooden pews contain what looks like everyone in Eden Gardens. Willow sits next to Bella in a row near the back, a brunette with golden highlights to her right. Three stocky boys sit next to them, whispering and nudging each other.

Christian leads us to an empty pew way at the back of the room, Allie and Nate behind him. I spot the officers a few rows up.

“I got you another water bottle in case,” Christian whispers, leaning towards me. “This day’s rough but you got this.”

“And you got us,” Allie chimes in, settling into the spot next to me. Her blazer matches her fitted slacks, the purple strands in her wavy hair fitting the gothic theme of the day.

Letting my eyes wander the room, I wiggle my toes in my boots. This place is beautiful. A long way from the churches in The Grove. The stained glass around us looks like pieces of art. Gold fixtures make up most of our ornate surroundings. Candles light up the room along with the few dazzling chandeliers above us. It’s hard not to scoff at this much lavishness in a church, but it’s fitting the occasion.

A giant display of red and black roses sits in front of a large portrait of the man we’re all here for. The man who’d delight in the turnout. But I can’t even look at it. Shuffling in my seat, I reach for the water, my stomach twisting again.

“Who is that?” Nate leans in, looking at the three of us but glancing towards the front row.

Taking a sip, my eyes land on Damien. He’s leaning back against the pew. Well, more like slumping. At least he looks calmer. Dazed.

Lea’s on the other side of him, but he doesn’t seem to care as she tries to keep his head straight, tipping his chin up. Marion sits at the end of the row, Isaac beside her, his girl between him and Damien. If the guests in this cathedral aren’t looking at the altar, they’re looking at him.

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