Page 48 of Knight

His voice softens, so do the muscles in his jaw and his eyes fall. He takes a moment, a breath as he glances away before he looks at me again. “You’re better than that.” He pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “You deserve better than that.” Lifting my chin higher, he moves closer, his lips coming to my face when I freeze.

Christian has a pretty mug. One that’ll go far, but I don’t feel the pull I get when Damien’s in my space, breathing the same air. There’s no thrill, no danger or excitement. It’s nice. But is nice what I want?

“Jo.” He swallows hard, his green eyes on my hazels.“Can I kiss you?”

Eleven

Christian searches my eyes, waiting for an answer.

When I don’t give him one, my brain trying to process it all, he leans in closer. But before he closes the distance a teardrop lands on my cheek.

Am I crying?

He notices, pausing before he moves back. “Shiiit. Jo, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Fuck.” It looks like he’s panicking, scrambling for a tissue while he mutters to himself in Spanish. I try to shake my head but the tears stream down now and it’s not because of Christian.

There’s so much more going on in my head. So much more than I’ll ever be able to share with him.

Damien is as dark as his past, as tortured as his reality, as brooding as my present. While we’re from different walks, Damien gets it. I’m not sure if Christian ever will.

“I’m so sorry, Jo,” Christian says again and he looks it, eyes narrowed on mine.

“No, it’s fine.” I’m finding my words again. “It wasn’t you. It’s been a lot lately.”

“Well, I’m okay if we act like that never happened and we finish my sister’s weed while we finish this movie. We can get super high and throw on Pineapple Express after this.”

I smile, dabbing at my eyes. “Sounds like a plan.” That’s exactly what I need right now.

He starts rolling up a joint, tapping ‘Play’ on the remote while I wipe my tears. Christian’s a good friend. But that’s all we’ll ever be. And that makes me miss Damien so much more.

* * *

“Jo?”

I’m woken up to the smell of Christian’s cologne and … eggs?

With one eye open there’s a plate in my face, what looks like an omelette sitting on top. It’s even garnished with some green herbs.

“Thought you could use some breakfast,” Christian’s smile comes into view next. “I know I do after a night of being stoners.”

When both eyes are open, I’m reminded of where I am. Sunlight pours into Christian’s bedroom and I can even hear a bird chirping. When I sit up, I realize I’m in a bed with blue and white sheets. Christian’s bed.

“Don’t worry,” Christian pulls a wooden tray from the side of the bed, setting it up on my lap before he rests the plate on it. “After you fell asleep, I took the couch.”

“Wow, Christian,” I say, still adjusting to the morning. “It’s like the Perez Inn. Thank you.” I didn’t think my stomach would be grumbling but after all that weed, I’m drooling for this meal. “Your mom made this omelette for me? That’s so sweet of her.”

Christian stops in his tracks and that’s when I realize he’s only in a towel. It falls below that patch of hair that Nate calls a “happy trail” and now I see why. It’s as if he’s teasing me, punishing me for not jumping on that advance last night.

“My mom?” Christian’s shaking up a smoothie, climbing into bed as he uncaps the mason jar. “I made that. And it’s a tortilla. It’s egg and potato, but I added my secret ingredient. Cheese.”

“You’re making me breakfast and we didn’t even bone?”

“We can still change that.” He doesn’t look like he’s joking when he gives me that smouldering stare. One I’m sure is usually reserved for girls from the Supreme Squad.

“Okay there, Romeo.”

Nudging him with my knee, he laughs it off, his eyes dropping to the scar on my arm. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask. How’d you get that scar?”

Heat floods my cheeks. “What?” Shoving the fork into the fluffy eggs, I push a big bite in my mouth.

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