Page 12 of Milk and Honey

“I deny you, Elim Shadowcourt! I will not marry you!” I put some real oomph to it, a real Shakespeare in the Park spin on the declaration. I deserved an Oscar, really.

Elim thankfully caught on after a long beat, throwing himself to the ground in an answering bout of theatrics. He wasn’t as good as I was, it was a little over the top, and the choking sounds strained belief.

But it worked.

I looked over to the portal where Glade was wrapped protectively in Victor’s arms, my manager having made his own appearance to help. He crouched down to kid-height, patting Glade reassuringly on the back while keeping her head turned into his chest, away from the violence. Yeah, he’s gonna make a great dad. Mary is gonna be thrilled.

Gretvir, in what would be his last mistake, loosed his grip on me to laugh in triumph, shoving me aside to grab at the crown on the platform, sitting in front of the shell-shocked chancellor and the barely-surviving bodies of his sons. “Dead! Lord Shadowcourt is dead, it is time for the new Lord Shadowcourt to take his crown!”

I cleared my throat. “My King?” Gretvir turned, clearly thrilled to be addressed with the honorific, regardless of who offered it. His face fell as I inclined my head towards the fallen form of my fiance. “Oh, I’m sorry. I meant the actual King.”

I pointed to Elim’s prone form with a smile as he rolled onto his back in the grass, folding his arms behind his head, the picture of casual comfort. “And what is your third wish, Melisandre, my Queen?”

“Nothing elaborate. Could you…hmmm…could you possibly turn Gretvir, Vanor, and Jerid permanently into powerless toads and exile them to the largest swamp in the human realm? Oh, and make sure it’s one with plenty of toad-eating predators. Wouldn’t want them to get bored, you know?”

Elim rose, folding into a deep bow as the air shifted, the heaviness of a storm brewing as he gave me an uncharacteristically playful wink. “As you wish, my Queen.”

With a single, sharp clap, Gretvir’s scream of indignation faded into an indignant croak before he, and his sons, vanished entirely. The chancellor sank to his knees, eyes darting around the clearing, shaking slightly as he struggled to take in everything that had just happened.

Mat and Bailey were engulfed in harmless flames near the edge of the clearing, indulging in something that looked like a victory kiss with a lot more tongue than usual. Hey, good for them. Get it, girl.

Victor was sitting cross-legged in the clearing with Glade in his lap, telling some kind of story with wild hand gestures that had the little girl laughing for the first time since I met her.

And Elim looked at me with something between hope and resignation as I leaned down and retrieved something from the stones. “My Queen, you’ve saved this kingdom from tyranny, and kept my niece safe. I can never repay you for your kindness and bravery, but if you’ll give me the chance, I’d like to try.”

I leaned in, draping the necklace that toad-Gretvir had left behind over Elim’s head, kissing him softly with a smile. “Deal. I mean, the priest-guy is already here and the venue’s rented, no sense wasting a good party, right?”

He cupped my cheek, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear with a talon. “As much as I love your humor, you must always be clear with Fae. Will you marry me, Melisandre?”

“Yes, you pointy eared pain in the ass. I’ll marry you, Elim.” His face broke into a bright grin as he wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me so fast I was sure everyone had gotten flashed by my commando status under the tunic. “But-”

I folded my arms and lifted my chin. “I’m not moving here. We can, I dunno, work out a timeshare or something but it’s too damned cold and I told you, I like dancing. Vic has a life and a job and I don’t want to leave my friend behind, either. What about you, is there anything you’d like to negotiate?”

Elim frowned for a moment, thinking. “Will you agree not to….do as we did in your club, so close to another? You are truly beautiful to gaze at, but I would like to be the only one to hold you.”

I tilted my head back and forth, considering. “No lap dances? Hm. That seems fair, as long as I can stay on stage. Honestly, I never liked doing them anyway. You’ve got a bargain, husband.”

Elim’s face lit up and he squeezed my hand with excitement, waving at the shaken, robed man who’d only just begun to get back to his feet. “Chancellor Truvo, old friend! My intended and I are in need of your services…”

ELIM

With the pall of my uncle and cousins’ political machinations finally lifted, I shook off the sadness I’d allowed into my reign after losing my brother and took action instead. A path was cleared through the wood, a formal delegation sent with an invitation to the Bright Court. Alette came with her retinue to view the memorial I had erected to Perikar and my slain aunt, and received the joyful news that both her brother and her beloved daughter lived. We all shared stories of my brother over a long feast, and agreed to eliminate the unspoken tension between our peoples, and work to make the realm a harmonious, intermingled community.

Mat worked with some of our stronger Fae casters from both Courts to make the walk-in portal permanent, enabling Vic and his human—and understandably incredulous—wife Mary to visit Glade and the realm on a regular basis. Glade was absolutely thrilled to gain another good uncle and an aunt that brought her cookies.

My uncle Gretvir had planted evidence that my niece had been kidnapped and killed by Perikar as an abomination when Glade was newly born, a ruse so convincing and layered with glamor that Alette had never questioned it. Perikar had been duped in turn, believing Alette had abandoned their daughter as an unwanted abomination herself. As the stories were compared, it was obvious that Gretvir had been preparing to overthrow my rule and marry Glade for years, the extent of his long, treacherous planning truly sickening. From what we could discover, ultimately, he’d hoped to rule both courts by force. If he’d had his way, he would have eliminated the Bright Court entirely, exiled the Seelie, and transformed the entire realm into Unseelie territory.

But thanks to my spirited, unintentional Queen bargaining for me with an accidental potion of coffee, all that had changed. There were, of course, a few unpleasant surprises along the way—notably that her favorite food, placed atop another food called a pizza, resembled my manhood a little too closely for comfort.

Mel wore her shard-of-night in lieu of the traditional human wedding ring, as did I, and she came to spend a day or two every week in my realm, despite the occasional complaints about the temperatures. I, in turn, crossed the portal each night to greet her at work, and I had even learned to drive her Lekh-sus through painstaking trial, error, and a few dents in the bumpers. It had been worth it to spend long, passionate nights in her bed, our trysts far more comfortable on the velvet and satins I brought her as wedding gifts than the cold, pastry-filled boxes we’d once crushed together.

A journey that began in a cell, waiting for my untimely end, had somehow transformed into my heart’s unknown desire. And from the moment we’d bonded, and every day after, I thanked the gods for the sweetest offering of milk and honey that Faekind had ever seen.

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