Page 47 of Hearts on Fire

This occurrence was enough drama for Naomi for the night and she told herself that if she was wise, she ought to lay down and wait for sleep to cover her embarrassment and anxiety.

She chided herself for not checking the name properly, for being too anxious and too frantic. She told herself that she was being too wishful to think that anything would make Scotti call her back, especially at this time of the night.

It was with that thought that she fell asleep and didn’t stir till morning.

13

Scotti

Scotti got up exhausted the next morning. She had barely slept a wink until the sky had begun to lighten to welcome the day. All night long, she'd binged on television and comic books. The result was that she felt like a ghost of herself by the morning and could barely remember anything from the night before; not even what she'd thought of the movie or book.

It had been like that for weeks. She'd come home as late as possible to avoid the emptiness of the house. Then she'd turn on the TV for the sake of company. She only ever watched the shows or movies with less than half attention. Sometimes, if she was lucky, she’d fall fast asleep a few minutes past the introduction.

But it was unlike Scotti to sleep during a movie. She loved them, especially sci-fi or anything that showed off an array of cars. But since she and Naomi had broken up, Scotti had barely looked twice at a car—as though that was what was really the issue.

In Scotti's opinion, the best dates she'd had over art or cars or movies were the ones she had with Naomi. It'd been too hard to try to recreate the experiences alone. She'd tried, but perhaps it was all too new and raw for her to stand them. Soon, even the movies she saw at home alone turned to background sounds that she slept to.

Last night was quite different. She'd turned on the TV and put the volume low, but nothing like sleep had made a pass at her all night.

She'd drunk two glasses of warm milk but that did nothing for her either. Later, she scrolled on Tiktok for hours. She'd not even dozed off for a second. Her eyes were wide open, even after she put her phone down and stared at the ceiling.

Scotti knew where this difficulty had started. In fact, the minute the passenger door had opened and Naomi had hoisted herself up to the seat, Scotti had known that sleeping that night was going to be difficult for her.

When she'd broken up with Naomi, Scotti wasn't sure she'd been expecting this—the sleepless nights, the inability to breathe when Naomi was inches close to her or the way that her thoughts constantly punished her for her decision.

In truth, she hadn't expected an easy road either. But this only told her how deeply in love she'd been with Naomi.

Scotti had thought she'd caught the feeling when it was young and new. But in the days that followed after her breakup, Scotti realized that this was a feeling that ran deep into her very person. It was a feeling she could not easily put aside just because she had detached herself from the source. If anything, Naomi was all that occupied her thoughts the most.

It'd been over a month that they went their separate ways, but almost nothing had changed. It was true that they were thought to be the best pair to go on missions, but they never really spent more than a few minutes together. They were always too busy, having to dash here and there to save lives.

In truth, though they were a pair, they never really had to stay together for too long.

Until today.

Scotti had been the one driving. It didn't happen often, but it did today. And of all days, it was this one that all the seats were occupied, save the one right in front, next to her.

Scotti had frozen right there, sitting behind the wheel. Her hands on the steering tightened so much her veins stood and she had to slow her breathing.

At first, she thought it was the shock of it that made her body react that way. But she realized too quickly that that was only the reaction of a body tied taut to a leash when all she terribly wanted was just in front of her, so close she could reach out and touch her.

Scotti dragged her nearly limp body across the room. These days she wasn't even sure if she was happy to wake anymore. Her body felt restless and tired, as though it needed to be put on hibernation like a big brown bear.

Scotti had found out some weeks ago that Naomi was in therapy. But her mind didn't know what to do with that information so she'd stowed it away in the corner of her mind.

This morning, it seemed to throb from that corner of her mind. Scotti decided to ignore it and get ready for work.

Her captain, in the past weeks, had tried to get information from her about her and Naomi, sensing that something was wrong. Scotti was afraid to paint Naomi in a certain light to the captain. Besides, their team still worked fine, breakup or not, so she told the captain that nothing was different, they were probably only a little busier than before.

It was the captain, who was in therapy too, who had told Scotti that Naomi was in therapy, having seen her leaving the office several times.

Scotti found herself worrying about it this morning. Naomi had once talked about hating therapy and finding it meaningless. So hearing that she was in therapy now bothered Scotti.

Had Naomi developed a drinking issue after they'd broken up? It wasn't very likely considering that Naomi was a doctor who was very invested in making healthy choices for her body.

Scotti worried about how life was going for Naomi. Too many times, she'd considered having a date with Naomi. She'd told herself that it'd be a date with no strings attached. They'd just eat out, go see some cars, and then go home. She told herself it was just to strengthen the work bond between them, just so that their past didn't come between their responsibilities in their respective professions.

But even as the lie rolled off her tongue while she repeated the words to herself in the mirror, she knew that giving herself such hope was cruel. There was no way that could happen and she wouldn't end up in Naomi's bed later that night, holding her to her chest right where it ached now from her absence.

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