Page 42 of Hearts on Fire

“I ruined it with my girlfriend,” Naomi blurted.

Barb fixed a knowing gaze on her.

“Well, she wasn’t officially my girlfriend. We were.. well… we were something… I loved her. Love her. I love her. But it isn’t to be.”

Naomi had no idea how to put it into words.

“It’s the handsome blonde firefighter, isn’t it? She saved your life and you fell in love with her.”

Naomi looked like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She gave a small nod.

“I want to forget about her and move on,” Naomi said.

Barb raised an eyebrow. “Honey, I’m a therapist not a genie.”

Naomi rolled her eyes.

She'd always admired Barb. Not romantically, but as the type of person she imagined she could easily spend a good day with.

“I want to live happily on my own. I'm tired of my heart skipping each time I smell Scotti's scent. I'm tired of being unable to meet her eyes, I'm tired of being angry with Scotti.”

“Tell me about you and Scotti, Naomi.”

Naomi launched into a detailed story immediately as though she'd recounted it a hundred thousand times to herself and had only been waiting to be asked to say it aloud.

She told Barb of how they had met and how they'd immediately hit it off. She told Barb of how Scotti shared her passion for cars and how she became a firefighter because as a kid she was fascinated by fires.

“Damn, Naomi. The way you talk about Scotti, that isn’t someone you need to move on from and forget.”

Naomi sighed.

“Scotti is too good for me. Scotti doesn't care about her life when others are in danger. That kills me with worry. Scotti is too much of a superhero for me to keep up with.” Naomi paused. “Enough about Scotti. Tell me what to do.”

“You're doing exactly what you need to.”

“Will I be able to get over Scotti? I don't want to have to not work with her. But working with her and pretending I’m not absorbed by my feelings for her is impossible.”

Barb leaned back into her seat.

“Tell me about Sasha,” she said.

Naomi's body stiffened visibly.

This was the hard part; Barb obviously knew her history.

Sasha. Lovely Sasha with her infectious laugh and her calm composure. Why did Sasha have to die? Why did Naomi never really get her chance with Sasha? She never really knew her. Sasha was young and smart, capable and beautiful. How could life be so very unfair?

“I never got chance to fall in love with Sasha. She managed to go to work and get shot before I got chance.”

Naomi sighed deeply.

“It feels so very unfair. She should have had more chance at life. I should have had a chance with her. But, I’ll never know if it would have worked between us, because she was killed before I could find out.”

Barb looked at her over her glasses, knowingly.

“And you haven’t grieved the loss of her.”

“How can I grieve for someone I only knew a couple of weeks? I went to the funeral and nobody even knew I existed. I didn’t know what her favorite song was or how she liked to eat chinese food when she was stressed. How could I be entitled to any grief for her?”

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