Page 19 of Hearts on Fire

“Sure. It was bad. Some are worse than that. Some are a lot smaller than that. It depends on a lot of stuff really. The building for one thing. Different buildings burn faster or slower. Some buildings- particularly older ones- haven’t had any fire safety precautions built into them. They burn real bad. They collapse a lot too.”

Naomi made a small incoherent sound.

“If you were in a situation where you had to pick between a life and yours, say, there's only enough time for one person to jump out the window of a burning house, who would jump out?”

Scotti considered the question with a funny look on her face.

“I mean, we don’t tend to jump out of windows day to day… but… I came to save a life and if that's what I do before I die, I'd die accomplished.”

Naomi began to shake her head. Scotti's worry lines deepened as she wondered if she didn't properly understand Naomi's question.

“I have so much experience with fires, Naomi. I have so much knowledge of fire behaviour and building construction. That person is just a victim with little to no knowledge on handling fires- how it will behave, how the building will behave. I can buy time for myself. I can come up with something. I’m a problem solver. I'm a fighter, Naomi.”

Naomi got out of bed and pulled a sheet over herself.

“I'll be late to work if I spend any longer here,” she said, trying hard to hide her downcast state.

“I know what you're thinking, Naomi, I know that's not what you wanted to hear.”

“We can't be together! I can't... I can't... You risk your life for a living.”

Scotti stood and reached out to Naomi. She put a hand on her shoulder.

“I'm not forcing you to do anything. Love forced is love strained. I don't want that for us. I'll be in your corner always, Naomi. For now, you can just be assured you're not losing me.”

Naomi took a deep breath. She knew Scotti was being overly generous with her and she appreciated it. But she wondered if Scotti would always be this way, this patient. And she wondered if she could ever get past the fear she felt and give Scotti a chance. Right now it felt so much safer just to run away.

The next couple of days passed uneventfully for Naomi. She was occupied with work as usual, but her days were only filled with minor surgeries. She was on call in the evening and, instead of catching up on paperwork she needed to do, she locked herself in her office and called Scotti.

“Naomi?”

“Yes. Its me. I just. I um… I miss you. I’m on call late tonight and I’m at the hospital. I was thinking of you.”

“I’ve been thinking of you, too.” Scotti’s voice was deep and to Naomi it sounded like home.

“I wondered if you had some time to talk? I’ve been feeling a bit lonely and I could use a friend.” Naomi knew she isolated herself and was her own worst enemy when it came to friends. She didn’t have many beyond the surface connections she had with her colleagues.

“Of course.” Scotti said. Her voice was filled with patience and kindness and Naomi felt the tightly furled knot in her stomach begin to unfurl. Naomi knew it was anxiety and stress. Scotti was both the answer to her stress and the cause of her stress. “What would you like to talk about?”

Naomi thought for a couple of seconds, pondering her answer. “How about cars? The latest ferrari model. What color would you choose and why?”

Scotti laughed and her laughter was the balm Naomi so desperately needed. “Red, of course. Ask any firefighter you know and red is always the answer to any color question. We are just mad for red. Red for Fire Trucks. Red for Ferraris!”

Their conversation went from cars to foods and to politics. They seldom had different views, but when they did, it was fun to bicker about it.

These calls quickly became a nightly thing. Naomi chose to work a lot of extra on call night shifts- she always had- she liked to fill her time and to be helpful. Scotti, whether she was at work or at home found the time to take her calls and it was always the highlight of Naomi’s day.

It was too easy to make the calls with Scotti part of her routine. Whenever Naomi took a coffee break, or wanted to break up the long nights- her phone was at the side of her ear as she listened to Scotti talk about anything and everything- as long as she wasn’t on a fire call. Scotti, she learned, was a passionate talker for anything she believed in.

It made Naomi wonder what Scotti would say about her if she got the chance.

Naomi hadn’t seen Scotti in a couple of weeks and they hadn’t had a proper conversation about what was going on between them since the night they spent together.

Naomi knew Scotti was waiting on her to decide what she wanted to do. The ball was in her court.

They were friends. Only friends, right?

Get real, Naomi.

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