Page 8 of Commit

I know it’s pathetic. I’m thirty years old. I shouldn’t be hiding from my friends that I’m crushed, but I am hiding it. No one has ever dumped me. I’m usually the one to end things. But with Remi, things were different. I’m not hurt because I was dumped for the first time in my life. I’m hurt because I thought she was the one.

And my mom had just died.

I finished the funeral, and that night, Remi left me. It was a low blow that I don’t understand—one that makes me mad.

Two years.

We spent two years together, and she didn’t even have the decency to wait a few days after I buried my mom to break up with me—or give me a good explanation for why she left.

I lost my mom and the love of my life all in the same week. Both losses feel the same.

For the past two months, I’ve been in denial—it’s the first stage of grief—but I think it’s safe to say I’ve moved on to anger.

I hoped Remi wouldn’t come to the wedding this weekend, that she’d bow out gracefully, say she couldn’t come because she had to work. I knew it wasn’t likely, considering Remi’s a yoga instructor. It’s not like there’s an emergency downward dog that needs to happen, but I hoped for it anyway.

Now I have to spend the weekend with her.

A white rental car honks twice as it pulls up to the curb. The passenger door flies open, and Jana jumps out.

“Let the party begin!” she squeals as she flings her body forward into mine. Her arms wrap around me in a hug, and her brown hair—that’s currently in a messy bun—hits my cheek.

“Am I the party?” I ask as I hug her.

“Hardly. Remi’s the party.” Jana pulls back and looks at me. “Have you seen her yet?”

“We just bumped into each other.”

“And?” Jana grimaces.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me we were on the same flight? Or that you are giving us both a ride to the hotel? I could’ve used a little heads-up.”

Jana shrugs. “You’re both adults.”

Just because I’m an adult doesn’t mean I enjoy being blindsided.

“Hey!” Reece comes around the car and slaps my shoulder, pulling me into a hug. “Thanks for being here.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

Reece has been my best friend since high school. I would travel anywhere in the world to be at his wedding, including Key West, Florida.

He looks down at my one suitcase. “Is this it?”

“Yeah.”

Jana’s eyes skip behind me. “There she is!” she says as she takes off running.

I left Remi inside the airport. For starters, her bag went around the conveyor belt again before I could grab it. And she had to fill out an incident report for her carousel escapade. If we were still together, I would’ve filled the information out for her. I would’ve stayed with her and teased her about getting her sweatshirt stuck.

But we’re not together, so I left.

I slowly turn around and face them.

Her sweatshirt is tied around her waist, and the sunglasses from earlier are gone. She’s wearing black yoga leggings and a white fitted t-shirt. Her dark hair falls past her shoulders and is styled in waves that took her fifteen minutes to do. I’ve timed her before.

Her beauty hits my heart like a defibrillator. She shocks me back to life and kills me at the same time. My chest tightens, and it’s not even the fear that this weekend will suck that is bothering me. It’s seeing her for the first time since that day two months ago and knowing that I’m never going to stop loving her.

How do you tell your heart to stop loving someone?

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