Page 50 of Commit

“I think the best way to honor my mother, to carry on her legacy, is by taking her example and implementing it in my life.” Matt’s eyes land on me. “By marrying a good woman and raising a family full of love and happiness.”

I can’t breathe.

Matt’s words are choking me.

I’m not a good woman, and I certainly don’t know how to have a family full of love and happiness.

My hands ball into fists, and I drop my head, trying hard to keep it together.

I make it to the end of the funeral and the dinner afterward.

But the entire time, I know what I have to do.

* * *

“Hey. Is everything okay?” Matt leans against the doorframe of his parents’ guest bedroom, watching as I frantically throw my clothes into my suitcase. The last funeral guests just left his house, and his family is downstairs cleaning up.

“I’ve got to get out of here.” I stop packing and glance around the room, looking for my glasses case. I know I pulled it out last night.

“Where are you going?”

There it is, right on the nightstand where I left it. I pick up the case and throw it in my bag. “I’m going home.”

Matt pushes off the door and walks to me, grabbing my wrists. “Just slow down and tell me what’s wrong.”

“I need to go.” I squirm out of his grasp and walk into the bathroom to get my toiletries.

“Okay, I can go pack my stuff too.” I hear the confusion in his voice, and the fact that he’s not even fighting me on leaving, just agreeing to come with me, breaks my heart even more.

“No!” I pop my head out of the bathroom. “I’m going alone.”

He sinks to the mattress, rubbing his hand down his suit pants. “Is it something with your mom?”

“I haven’t seen my mom in eight years.”

“I know. I am just trying to figure out what the big emergency is.”

I come out of the bathroom, my arms full of makeup and hair products. “There’s not an emergency. I just can’t stay here anymore.”

Matt grips my hand. “Rem?” He pulls me to face him. “What’s going on?”

I finally look at him. “We have to be done, Matt.”

He lets out a soft laugh. “What do you mean?”

My eyes drop. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Right now?” I’m sure his expression matches the disbelief in his voice, but I don’t have the guts to look at him.

I’ve picked the worst day in Matt’s life to break up with him. I hate myself for it, but I can’t stay when I know it’s wrong. I’m leaving for him. He deserves someone so much better than me. Someone more like Marilyn Johnson.

“I should’ve seen it sooner,” I say, “but we’re not going to work out.”

“What are you talking about?” His hand goes to my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Where’s this coming from?”

I swallow and face the pain in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Matt. It’s over.”

“My mom just died, you know that, right?”

---