Page 39 of Commit

“Somehow, I knew you would say that.”

“We’re going to do yoga poses on the board and impress all of those surfers.” She shifts her weight and moves to one foot. “The first pose we’re going to do is the warrior III.”

I watch as she slowly leans forward into a tabletop position with her arms extended out in front of her.

“Don’t you think we should start with warrior I or II first?”

She laughs but doesn’t break from her position. “It's your turn.”

I try to copy what her body is doing, but the second I dive forward, I lose my balance and awkwardly flail into the water. When I come up, Remi’s laughing at me.

“You need to find your center,” she says.

I swim over to my board, hoisting my body out of the water. “It’s not as easy as it looks.”

“That one was easy.” She moves her body so her forearms are against the paddleboard and slowly lifts her legs until she’s in some kind of handstand. “This one is much harder,” she grunts, trying to hold the pose.

I shake my head. “You’re incredible.”

Her legs slowly come back down to a kneel. She shoots me a cocky smile. “Are you impressed?”

“I’m more than impressed. I love you, Remi.”

Whoa.

I wasn’t planning on saying that.

I feel it. In fact, I’ve been feeling it for several months now, but I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want to freak her out. Remi isn’t the type of person who says ‘I love you’ after only six months of dating. You have to ease her into it.

Her eyes widen, and I know there’s no way she’s ever going to say it back to me. All I can do now is minimize the damage.

“Don’t freak out,” I say. “And you don’t have to say anything back. Let’s just leave that out there, and we’ll talk about it someday when you’re ready.”

She bites her lip. “Okay.” She looks around nervously. “What do we do now?”

“We pretend like that never happened and keep paddle boarding.”

She nods.

I’m learning with Remi. Sometimes I need to pull her closer, and sometimes, I need to back off.

This is one of those times when I need to back off.

CHAPTER 24

REMI

“Mangroves are a group of trees and shrubs that grow in slow-moving water in tropical areas,” our guide explains as we slowly paddle beside her.

I nod like I’m listening, but really, my thoughts are far away. I hope there won’t be a quiz after, because I wouldn’t get a single answer correct.

“Mangroves have a very sophisticated ecosystem,” the guide says, looking right at me as if she knows my own personal ecosystem is a chaotic mess.

Matt and I haven’t spoken since our kiss last night. This is more than Costco 2.0 or Tessa telling him to ignore me. I hurt him…again. I keep doing that. What is wrong with me—besides the obvious mom issues? He gave me everything I wanted last night. He told me he missed me. I felt his feelings through his kiss, and he even begged to love me. Then, I pushed him away.

I’m a freaking nightmare!

I don’t want to be this way.

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