Page 38 of Commit

Chelsea: Oh, Remi. Maybe it’s time to talk to him. Like really talk to him. Tell him your fears.

I bite my lip, trying to stop my emotions from gaining life.

Remi: I don’t know what to say.

Chelsea: Tell him you started going to counseling. Tell him you’re working on all of your trust issues. Tell him you’re ready to commit if he is.

Remi: Maybe I’m not ready to commit. Maybe I’m better off alone.

My mind repeats all the insecurities I’ve struggled with my entire life.

I spent my childhood alone.

I’m supposed to continue the trend through adulthood.

I’m broken.

I’ve never been enough for anyone.

Matt deserves something better.

Chelsea: No one is better off alone. Don’t let your past with your mom rob you of your future with Matt. He’s a great guy. You need to trust that he won’t leave you like your mom did.

Tears fill my eyes.

Remi: There’s no way you can know that.

Chelsea: Love is about having faith in the other person. Have a little faith in him.

I throw my body back against the bed and pull the sheets over me. Matt never let me down once in the two years I’d been with him. I do trust him. Maybe it’s me I don’t trust. Deep down, maybe I’m afraid that one day, ten years from now, I’ll wake up and bolt just like my mom did.

CHAPTER 23

MATT

A YEAR AND A HALF AGO

“I feel like such an idiot,” I say as I propel myself forward. “Here I am paddle boarding while those guys surf big waves around us.”

I turn over my shoulder, watching some guy ride the surf.

“Paddle boarding is cool too,” Remi says.

She’s like some kind of balance goddess. Her board never wobbles or even acts like it’s unstable.

“Yeah, right.” I use my paddle to point to the surfers. “If you were given a chance to come to Galveston with one of those guys instead of me, you would’ve chosen them.”

“Actually, one of them did invite me to come to Galveston with them, but I’d already said yes to you, so I couldn’t go. I could be surfing right now if it wasn’t for you.”

I push my paddle into the water, sending a spray up to Remi. “Don’t lie to me.”

She flinches, but the threat of falling isn’t even a problem.

Her eyes go wide with excitement. “Do you know what would make paddle boarding even cooler?”

“What?”

Her lips creep into a big smile. “Yoga.”

---