Page 74 of Dash

“So, what did you do?”

“What was there for me to do?” I ask. “I was twelve when my grandmother passed. By then my parents thought that I was old enough to be left home alone. So, they continued to go where ever they wanted, whenever they wanted.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?”

“I was in school. And like I said, a child knows when they are not wanted. So I stayed behind. I learned to do things for myself. And when they were home, it was a constant fight. They tried to tell me what to do, and I just didn’t give a fuck. I’m not saying it was right; I’m just saying that I didn’t need them. I got my money from my grandparents on my eighteenth birthday. I bought my house that day and moved out. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“I’m so sorry, Dash.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

“I know. But still…”

“Stop.” I reach up and pull her back down into me, wanting to feel her warm body. “It wasn’t all that bad. I had Blake, and his parents were cool about letting me stay over there sometimes.” I know there are kids out there who had it much worse. I was never beaten. I was just ignored.

“It sounds awful. Your parents should have been there for you. They should have cared about you more,” she says into my chest. And I hate that she is right. I loved my grandparents more than I loved my own parents. The moment I watched my grandmother answer the phone and I saw the look of terror, the look of heartbreak on her face, I wished that it had been my mother or my father who had died, not my grandfather. What kind of person does that? A sick bastard is who. I would have gladly given up all that money in order to have them back. I went into a deep depression. My parents lived as if it was no loss to them. But they never really saw them anyway. Me, on the other hand, I lived with them. Then I had to go back to my parents’ house. A place that I should have called home, but it felt foreign. It was cold and quiet. No one was there to wake me for school. Or to help me with getting ready. I was in a dark place for quite a while. My father only showed up to pick me up from the police station or to tell me to get the fuck over their death.

I guess you could say, as I have gotten older, our relationship, what relationship there is, has gotten a little better. But I can still go months without talking to them. Weeks without even thinking of them. And as true as it is, I know it’s sad. But that’s just how we are and nothing will ever change that.

I lean my head up to look down at Tabatha cuddled up next to me and I smile when I see her eyes are closed. I lean and place my lips on her forehead, giving her a good night kiss. I lie back down and close my eyes thinking of her. She reminds me what it’s like to be wanted. To be important. To be loved.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

TABATHA

I sit in the back of Dash’s racing trailer. He’s about to race, and I am scared shitless. I’m so nervous that I’m shaking. I expected to be nervous but not terrified. This is our second day here in Florida. He already raced once this morning for qualifying, and of course, he made it. I thought it would ease my fear, but it didn’t.

I turn around and look at the trailer. Of course, my father has the best trailer there is. It’s a fifty-three foot double decker and has everything that they could possibly need. Up against the right wall is a toolbox nailed to the wall. It’s taller than I am. In the center of the trailer is a place where Dash rides his bike up and locks his bike in place to keep it from falling when traveling. I haven’t even went up to see what is on the second level yet.

The trailer and crew have been here for two days. We just flew in last night. My father kept telling Dash that he needed to be here earlier than that, but Dash assured him that the night before would be plenty of time.

I jump when two arms wrap around me. Dash chuckles in my ear. “You’re so jumpy.”

I spin around in his arms and smile up at him. “I’m nervous,” I admit.

He lowers his lips to mine and softly speaks against them. “Don’t be. I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re so cocky,” I whisper.

He softly brushes his lips against mine. “Speaking of cock…” He pushes his hips into mine, and I can feel the hardness behind his jeans.

“Dash…” I moan as his hands start to tangle in my hair.

He lowers his face to the crook of my neck and kisses my neck. I let my head fall back to give him better access. I grip the back of his shirt as he kisses up my neck to the base of my ear. “You are mine as soon as I finish.” Then he pulls away, leaving me breathless and wanting. “I want you in this trailer waiting for me when I’m done; do you understand?”

I nod, and he grabs my head and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. Then he pulls away and walks over to the front of the trailer to grab his leathers. I walk over to him knowing that he needs help to get into them. After a couple of minutes, he is fully dressed in leathers, riding boots, and holding his helmet. And I’m back to shaking.

He grabs my hands and realizes how sweaty they are. “Hey,” he says as he leans down and rubs his nose on the tip of mine. “I’m kinda sad at what little faith you have in me.”

I let out a little laugh. “I’m just nervous. I know you’re good, but anything could happen out there. Another biker could cause you to wreck.”

“Dash, it’s time to go,” I hear Greg, a crew member, yell from the back of the trailer.

He nods. “I’ll be right there.” Then he looks back down at me. “If it scares you that much, stay in here. Okay?” And before I can respond, he kisses me on my forehead and walks past me. I spin around in time to see him walking down the ramp of the trailer and out of a sight.

“I love you,” I call out, hoping he heard me, but I doubt he did.

I walk to the end of the trailer and sit down on the ramp. I look out at all the other trailers positioned inside the middle of the track. They all have the same concept—the back wall of the trailer pulls down to make the ramp, easy access to get their bike in and out. They have tools and equipment inside to help them work on their bikes, if need be. Some trailers have more than one bike in them.

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