Page 67 of Dash

“He deserved it!” And I deserve you. Not really, that’s me just being selfish.

She nods her head slowly, and I allow my eyes to search her face. Her bruises look better, almost gone. She almost looks like the beautiful girl I saw walk into my parents’ kitchen, but I know it’s not the same girl. The one who had confidence and knew the world was at her fingertips. I would give anything to be her world. My chest tightens as she opens her mouth to speak.

“So…uh…” She stumbles over her words. “How have you been?”

“Not as good as you.” The words leave my lips before I have the chance to stop them.

Her back straightens. “What does that mean?” she demands, finding the words pretty easily now.

Why lie? Why not tell her that I know? Just get it out in the open? “I know you’re fucking Jake.” I hate how jealous I sounded. Pathetic.

She gasps. “You’re the one out sleeping around with other women.”

I hate how much I love the sound of jealousy coming from her lips. It’s crazy how good it feels when the tables are turned. But it’s not true. I chuckle. “So you fuck my best friend’s brother and then accuse me of sleeping around? Classic,” I say, my words dripping with sarcasm.

“Dash…I swear it’s not…”

I hold my hand up. “You don’t have to pretend. I saw you with him in the bathroom at the party.” I laugh at myself. She must think I’m crazy, but that’s what she has made me. Crazy.

“You were there?” She starts to shake her head quickly. “I swear that’s not what it was.”

“Quit lying.”

“Lying?” she sneers as she pushes her chair back from the table. “You’re the one who lies. Or do you not remember the conversation we had at the police station?”

“I remember,” I snap. “I remember you acting like you had no idea why Rodger came over to your house after I had just been there.”

She points her finger at me. “You wanna know the truth? Fine.” I have moment of panic. Do I really wanna hear that she is still in love with Rodger? That I’ll never live up to the woman-beating fuckface that he is. “My doorbell rang, and I answered it thinking it was you coming back. He came inside and told me that he had messed with your brakes. He said that if I didn’t give him what he wanted, that he would go after you again. To teach me a lesson.” Her voice rises. “He asked me what I was willing to give up in order to save you. And I told him me. I would give him me to make sure you were safe.” Her chest rises and falls rapidly, and I see the tears start to well up in her eyes. “But I couldn’t do it.” Her voice breaks. “I couldn’t go back to that life. To being controlled. To being numb to everything.” She lifts her hands and angrily wipes the tears from her face. “I’m sorry that I failed you. That I didn’t go with him to ensure your safety,” she says with bite.

“Tabatha,” I say softly. “I would never want you to…”

“I had to fight. Fight for myself. I was gonna die trying.” She takes a deep breath. “And as for Jake. Some drunk ass spilled his mixed drink all over my shirt. And he helped me to the bathroom. He gave me his shirt to wear. Yes, he kissed me. And I freaked. I yelled at him. I made a fool of myself in front of everyone there. But I haven’t spoken to him since. It was a mistake. A mistake that I regret more than anything.”

“More than me?” The words slip from my lips before I can stop them

“I don’t regret you.” She wipes her hands on her jeans and takes another step toward me. “I have tried to call you to explain myself. I understand why you came to my house after what happened with you and Valerie. I was so mad that I had been right. The night before, when I left you that note, I was letting you off the hook. Because I knew that you were going to do stuff with her, and I didn’t want you to be a cheater. Our relationship had already been so fucked-up to the point that I didn’t wanna add more to it.” She swallows. I go to speak, but she lifts her hand to stop me. “I…” She takes a deep breath. “I was with Rodger for a year. And in the beginning the relationship, what we had was what I thought I wanted. But over time, I slowly lost myself. I became dependent on him. And that first night I met you, I just wanted to be me. Find the old me who I loved. And when I saw what you were willing to do with Valerie to get that information…”

“I told you I would give up racing for your dad for you,” I remind her.

“I didn’t want you to do that,” she cries. “Because I don’t wanna change you.”

“People change,” I say taking a step toward her. “Dreams change. You start to want things that you never knew were possible,” I say as I lift my hand and cup her face.

She sniffs. “I love you, Dash. I wanted to tell you how I felt the moment you walked into my house that night, but I was too mad at you for what you had done. I was pissed that I had been right.”

“Right about what?”

“That you would put her and your dream before us.” I can’t argue with her because I did. I was mad at her as well for writing that stupid note. But none of that matters now. “You love me?”

She nods her head. “I thought us being apart would be best for me. That it would give me a chance to find myself. But I realize that I’m at my best when I’m with you. I feel strong when you hold my hand. I feel loved when you cuddle with me. I love the way you make me feel about myself. Not what you try to make me be.”

I lean down and kiss her hair before I wrap my arms around her and pull her in for a tight hug. She quickly looks up at me and her eyes shine from the tears. “I didn’t sleep with Jake. I swear it. I kissed him and it was a mistake. Please forgive me.”

No more secrets. No more lies. They’ve all been laid out on the table, yet we’re both still standing here waiting for the other one to walk away. But the thing is that I do believe her. I understand more than anyone does how something can look one way but the truth be exactly the opposite.

“Dash…?”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “Shh. I believe you.” I pull her head back against my chest. She has to feel my heart pounding and my pulse racing.

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