Page 62 of Dash

I shrug. “Because of two men. I could transfer schools.” I can’t just up and quit school. But I also don’t want the possibility of running into Rodger. I have a restraining order against him and shit could get ugly. Hell, his father told me not to worry about him, but that was before Dash broke into his house and got a hold of him.

“You can’t run from your problems.”

This time my head snaps up. “Why not? People do it every day.”

She shakes her head. “You are not going to leave me behind.”

Oh, is that what this is about? “You can come with me.” I sigh when she ignores that. “I just need a fresh start,” I say truthfully. I need to find myself; I feel so lost.

“Then start over fresh. But do it here. With your friends,” she says softly.

“You’re my only friend,” I say with a soft laugh, but I hate how true it is. How much I have managed to fuck up my life in a matter of weeks.

“Not true.”

I look over the back of my chair when a man speaks. I smile when I see Blake walking up to us. “I’m your friend,” he says with a wink.

“You’re the enemy’s friend,” I say, looking behind him to see if Dash is with him. I hate how disappointed I feel when he is nowhere to be seen.

“Ouch,” he says placing a hand over his heart.

“And I could always use a new friend,” his brother, Jake, says. “So what about it?” he asks as he plops down in the sand in front of my chair.

“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure my friend list is full,” I joke, and it feels good to smile.

His mouth drops open dramatically. “You only have two people on it. A second ago it was just one.” He points over at Jackie. “And I heard she once left you at a party. That’s not a very good friend.” Jackie lifts her glasses and glares at him.

“One is all I need,” I say truthfully, and it makes them all laugh as if I was joking. “And for leaving me at the party…” I pause as I remember that night with Dash. His hands on my skin. His lips on mine. His body taking over mine. “Some things are worth it.”

The four of us spend the day out on the beach. Jake actually turns out to be quite funny. And the guy has a ton of stories. He travels a lot. He said his dream is to travel the world growing old and fat as he samples food from foreign countries. I found myself enthralled in what he was saying. It sounded so tempting. What he was saying was the exact same things I was thinking. I had just told Jackie that I wanted to escape, and here, he was talking about leaving. I thought it would be hard to leave everything behind, but he made it sound so easy. It’s not like I couldn’t return whenever I wanted to.

I found myself nodding my head, agreeing with everything he said. Like some love-struck teenager, but the truth is, I’m the teenager trying to run away from the love that I have here. Seeing Dash the other night at the police station brought back all kinds of emotions. Love being the biggest one. And pain. A lot of pain. Pain that no amount of makeup could cover up. These bruises on my body will fade, and these stitches on my face will be removed, but my broken heart will remain broken forever.

I’m laying back in my lawn chair laughing at something Blake just said, pretending I’m not a shattered mess, when Jake’s phone rings. I try to continue the conversation with Blake and Jackie so I don’t look like I’m being nosy. But we all quiet as he starts to say good-bye.

“That was my friend, Joe,” he informs us. “He is having some friends over tonight. Who wants to go?”

“I do,” Jackie says raising her hand. She’s always down to party.

“Sure,” Blake says with a shrug.

They all turn to look at me. “What about you, Tabatha?” Jake asks with a smile. “It’ll be fun,”

“Yeah,” I say already regretting the word. A party? Is that really what I should be doing right now? I just said I wanted to leave town, not stay and party. It’s been two days since my attack with Rodger, and I still have my bruises, but I’m sure I could cover them with makeup…?

“Awesome,” Jake says excitedly, and I can’t help but feel better about my decision. I really do wanna spend time with Jackie. The last two nights, I wanted to be alone, and I found out that it’s not all what it’s cracked up to be. Being alone sucks. All you have is your thoughts. I sat in my bedroom in silence, yet my mind screamed at me. And right now, I don’t wanna think about anything. I don’t wanna argue with myself about what I should and shouldn’t feel. I just want to have fun and hang out with my friend.

Jackie jumps up from her lounge chair quickly and starts to pick up her bag. “What are you doing?” I ask, sitting up as well.

“We gotta go. We have to get ready for this party.”

I look down at my hands sitting in my lap and twiddle my thumbs. I wonder if Dash will be there. Would they ask him to go when they know I’m going? And if they do, will he ask if I’ll be there? See what I mean? Thoughts like these keep me up all night. “You okay?” she asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I look up and give her a smile. “Yes.” I stand and start to dust the sand off my bag. “I’m ready.”

I stand there awkwardly as I watch Blake give Jackie an intense kiss. I look away when his hand travels down and cups her ass over her white bathing suit bottom. “I’ll pick you girls up,” he says as he pulls away from her. “That way you ladies don’t have to drive.”

“I can drive us,” I offer, and they turn to look at me as if I just spoke in a different language. “I don’t plan on drinking,” I add.

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