Page 35 of To Hunt a Ruby Remedy

“I’m just tired,” I protested, knowing she wouldn’t believe me. If she had noticed more than my despondency this morning, then I hadn’t done as good of a job hiding my mood as I had thought.

“Sweetie, you have always smiled through everything life throws at you. Even when you worked yourself into exhaustion trying to raise money for a healer—not to mention dealing with fear for my health on top of it—you still smiled.” She rose and walked around the table, bending over to hug me. “You are in love with that healer, aren’t you? And don’t even think of lying to your own mother. I saw your expression when you talked about him.”

I tried to smile, but my lips trembled. “It doesn’t matter. He has his own life in the forest.”

“You had to bring me the charm, but there is nothing forcing you to stay here, Scarlette. You can make a life for yourself in Drakona, too.”

“I already showed up at his doorstep uninvited twice. I can’t just go and tell him I’ve abandoned my whole life for him. He didn’t ask me to stay or come back, Mama.”

“Think about it,” Mama said, giving me one last squeeze. “Take a few days. Don’t go back to the tavern, just think about what you want to do with your life. It is time for you to put yourself first, sweetie.”

I nodded, not quite agreeing, but not arguing, either. I wasn’t sure I knew how to put myself first. My whole life I had always worried about how I could help other people. I wanted everyone around me to be happy. The last few years as Mama’s health had declined, it had only become more important that I focus on how I could be helpful.

My mother placed her mug in the sink and walked out the door, leaving me to my thoughts.

Instead of thinking about what made me happy, I thought about who I wanted to help. My mother was at the top of the list, but the ruby charm had done more than I had ever hoped. It would last decades, and already had her acting like the woman I had known as a girl. The tumor must have started affecting her long before we realized. She had tired quicker, and headaches kept her in bed or caused foul moods, but the progression happened slowly enough that I hadn’t recognized anything was wrong until it was nearly too late. Only now, seeing her completely healthy once more, did I realize how long the illness had diminished my mother, robbing her of the vitality that had been the cornerstone of my early life.

She didn’t need my help anymore.

I listed villagers in my head. There were plenty I liked, but it was a superficial relationship. Smiles and jokes shared on market day, nothing more. I might use some of the silver to repay them for the help they had given the second time Mama needed a healing, but I didn’t feel the urge to do more for them. They had their own lives, and they had welcomed me into them only so far. I was the friendly woman everyone said hello to and nothing more. I had never had the time to develop deeper relationships.

There were also plenty of villagers I would be just as happy to never see again—most of them the regular patrons at the tavern.

Rosalia. If I ever saw the traveling healer again, I wanted to do something to thank her for everything. I had spent less than a day in her company, but I felt closer to her than most of the villagers. There had been a spark of recognition between us, the sense that we could be friends if life gave us the opportunity. But Rosalia’s feet itched to roam the kingdom, sharing her healing power with all she found. I’d never be happy with such a nomadic existence.

I wanted a home.

And Mama was right: this village didn’t feel like my home.

The people of Wulfkin ran through my memory. Their warm welcome and determination to protect their healers. The laughing children who didn’t know hunger, who could play on a dragon without fear and accept the end of playtime with smiles still wreathing their faces.

Grandmother Molle, who had welcomed me without hesitation.

Ranulf.

I closed my eyes. I wanted to make Ranulf laugh. Seeing his lips twitch when he was amused—but refused to admit it—gave me joy. Listening to him talk, the words all the more powerful after his stubborn silences, sent a shiver down my spine.

I wanted to build a life with him, but I could accept the disappointment of him not wanting the same so long as I knew he was safe and happy.

I had no such assurances.

“He was happy with me,” I whispered. I tilted my chin up. I would not doubt myself or what we had shared. Ranulf might not have been able to accept that happiness, but he had felt it. Perhaps it wouldn’t last beyond the strange week where we had been forced together, but it was just as likely to last the rest of our lives. If we let it.

If not for the threat posed by the huntsman, would Ranulf have tried?

My chin dipped once more. A dragon hunter was after the man I loved and I could do nothing to help. I wouldn’t even know if anything happened.

In the end, it was the uncertainty that had me packing my bag once more. I couldn’t sleep at night, worrying about what the huntsman was doing. When I managed to fall asleep, I’d jerk awake covered in sweat only a few hours later, terrified that Gideon had killed Ranulf.

I told my mother that I hadn’t made a firm decision, that I was returning to Drakona Forest in order to decide. She responded that she would come to visit as soon as I was settled.

I had everything ready and was only waiting for my mother to return from the market, because she insisted on buying me a few extra supplies, when there was a knock on the door. I opened it, unsure who to expect.

When I had first seen Ranulf, I was shocked to learn he and Rosalia were twins. Apart from the black hair, there was little resemblance. She was petite, with a wide smile and eyes of a darker green. Seeing her on my doorstep now, I saw the similarities I had missed before. It was in the shape of their eyes, the stubborn tilt of a chin.

“Rosalia.” I stepped back, letting her walk inside.

“You’re back already!” She spotted the pack waiting for me on the table. “Or did you not even leave yet? I came to make sure the charm I gave your mother was holding up, but if you haven’t even left for the forest, she’ll need at least another two weeks. A charm with the power of a node behind it will make a big difference, Scarlette. I know you are reluctant to ask for what you see as charity, but Grandmother won’t see it that way.”

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