Page 70 of I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

“What’s he like?” she asks, continuing to examine the empty rooms.

“Who? Caleb?” My question comes out confused. “He’s Luc’s best friend, Daph. You know Caleb.”

“No, I know Caleb who we get to see once or twice a year and who Luc bullshits on the phone with about golf and shit. But like, who is he, really? Do you have common interests? Is he romantic? Is he passionate? Please tell me beneath all those polite manners is a deviant who at least fucks your eyes into the back of your head?”

My gaze unconsciously shifts out the window as my mind travels back to the memory of Mav and me in the locker room at school. I think about his hand wrapped up in my hair as he thrusted up into me from behind, his palm clenching my throat. My thighs instinctively press together as I mentally revisit the last time I was ever truly fucked into a state of satisfaction.

Caleb and I have sex. It’s just very safe, sweet sex. The kind of sex that you’d expect a doting husband to offer his wife of ten years a solid one to two times a week. And it’s always missionary.

She reads me like an open book. “Jesus, J, really? That bad, huh?”

“You literally just gave me a speech an hour ago about settling when we can’t have what we want!” I snap defensively.

“Yeah, but I meant with like… love. Even Luc fucks me hard enough to at least take the edge off.”

“It’s not bad,” I protest. “It’s just… tame.”

“You describing your sex life or a petting zoo?”

A petting zoo has more foreplay.

Desperate to be over this conversation, I start heading for the door, corralling Daphne as I go.

“I’m sorry.” She latches onto my arm, halting my movement. “I wasn’t trying to be bitchy. Fuck.” Daphne spins, taking several steps in the opposite direction before coming to a stop. Her head falls back, her gaze locking on the ceiling above as she massages the back of her neck. “How did we end up here?” she whispers.

“We chose it, Daph. That’s all life is… a series of choices. Sure, there are things that influence those choices, but we still made them. I am choosing to move in with Caleb because I owe it to myself to see where this thing goes. I can’t spend my life comparing everyone to him.”

She nods in understanding. “We’re a couple of fucked up bitches, huh?”

“Not fucked up,” I shake my head, “just realistic. We know that not everyone gets the fairytale.”

***

I part ways with Daphne and decide to take some time to refamiliarize myself with the city. I walk along the somewhat crowded streets, making mental notes of various ways it’s evolved, all while staying true to its core.

I wander for a bit, somewhat lost in thought, oblivious to my surroundings until I spot the familiar coffee shop on the corner. My legs lock at the knees as I allow myself to glance around, recognizing the block I called home for a brief period in time.

My head snaps up, taking in the sight of the black building before me. People shuffle in and out of its doors, apparent it’s now home to many more residents than when I lived here. The outside mainly looks the same, save some strategically placed shrubbery and gold decorative lettering which now adorns the entrance.

The Rebel Dutchess

What was once our quiet hideaway has since become luxury mid-rise apartments. I didn’t expect to end up over here today. I don’t even know how it happened. Had I really just wandered this way?

It’s too much too fast. I spin to make my retreat when I accidentally slam into some poor unsuspecting person behind me. My face collides with his chest, his phone clattering to the ground as his hands grip hold and steady me, preventing my fall.

“Shit. I’m so sor—”

My eyes skirt over the ink on the back of his palm, following the familiar patterns and imagery up the length of his arm where it disappears under the sleeve of his black tee, only to reappear onto his neck. I follow the hard cut line of his jaw to his chin, before my eyes roll up the rest of the way—over his slightly parted lips and coming to rest on his fierce jade green eyes, which are currently wide with shock.

“Mav.” My voice slips out a breathless whisper.

We stand there, locked in one another’s gaze as the world fades into the background. For a brief moment, Mav and I are all that exists.

A blaring car horn jolts me back to the present and I go to retract my arms, only to have Mav’s grip tighten around them. My eyes drift down to where he’s latched onto me before bringing my gaze slowly back up to meet his.

“Mav.” My voice comes out stronger this time, with more resolve than I anticipated. “Can I have my arms back, please?”

He stares at me a moment longer, fingers flexing around my elbows before he slowly relinquishes his hold. I take an instinctive step back, placing distance between the two of us, dampening the intense electric energy charging the air between us. While it does help clear my head, it also gives me a better view of him—and fuck me.

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