JONSIE

“Oh my God!” Daphne screams as she barrels into me before I can even make it past the door of Nicky’s house. Her arms wrap tightly around my neck, practically smothering me.

“Easy, Daph,” I laugh. “You act like it’s been years.”

“May as well be!” she shouts. “I haven’t seen you since Christmas. It’s June!” She grips the sides of my face, forcing my gaze to meet hers. “I missed you, boo.”

“I missed you too.” I smile. “Jesus, Daph. I forgot how big this thing was.” I grip hold of her hand, manipulating the massive diamond as it sparkles and shines in the light. “Do the mice have a fun time ice skating on it?”

She snorts. “Shut up, smartass, before I hit you with it.”

“Mmmhmm. You’ll fucking kill me.”

“Oh, you’re so funny,” she mocks, making a face.

We share a laugh as my brother enters the foyer. “There she is!”

“Hey, Nicky.” A warm smile graces my face as my hand meets his for some woogity woogity.

He scoops me up, burying his face in my hair. “I missed you, sis.”

“I missed you more.”

We stay like this for a beat before he releases me. Even though we saw each other last week for my graduation, it was brief. He could only stay the day.

While Nicky’s presence offers a familiarity I’ve craved, at the same time he seems so different. Long gone is his unruly rockstar mop cut, replaced with a style cropped short on the sides and only slightly longer on top. His high-fashioned wardrobe consisting of bright colors and trend setting pieces has become somewhat muted, though he still throws some flair in here and there. Right now, he’s looking pretty relaxed in a pair of black skinny jeans and red tee, though his Converse shoes have custom jeweled skulls all over them, which makes me smile. There’s my brother.

“And you must be Caleb.” Nicky shifts his attention to the person behind me. I move to the side so they can shake hands. Caleb couldn’t make it to the graduation since his was the same day, so this is the first time they’re meeting.

“That’s me!” Caleb asserts enthusiastically. “Nice to meet you, Nick. Joanna talks about you all the time.”

“All good things, I hope,” Nicky jokes with a smile.

“Only the best things.” Caleb releases Nicky’s hand to throw an arm around me, drawing me in close.

Caleb and I met the summer before my senior year through Daphne’s fiancé, Lucian. Daph and Luc came out to visit me in California when I decided not to come home for the summer. Caleb was attending Berkeley about six hours away but made the trip down to see his old friend. We had a decent enough time at dinner and ended up exchanging numbers before he left. Consistent texting turned into regular weekend visits on his part which then transformed into an exclusive relationship somewhere along the line. Moving in together seems like the logical next step, and since he’ll be attending med school at NYU come fall, logistically it all just kind of worked out.

Caleb’s easy on the eyes. Though shorter than Nicky at six-foot-one, his shares a similar build of lean muscle. His thick light brown hair is always kept relatively short; his warm chocolate eyes are friendly and inviting. He’s a great guy. He’s driven, smart, respectful, kind… he’s everything I could wish for in a partner. I’m lucky to have him.

So why does it feel like I’m constantly trying to convince myself of that?

I sometimes think how my life would have been different had I come home that summer. But then again, I never came home for summer, at least not anywhere near Queen City. However, Nicky and I did keep up our annual tradition of visiting my dad in Cape Cod for two weeks every year. It was actually more manageable, not having to work around his motocross schedule anymore. I cherish that time. Nicky and I, alone on the beach in Hyannis in the early morning light, staring out at the ocean in silence where the ugly consequences of our choices couldn’t reach, even if only temporarily kept at bay.

Sometimes I wondered if he was ever watching the sunrise the same time as me and, in that moment, even in spite of everything he did, I craved that connection.

“I hope you guys are hungry!” Nicky gestures for us to follow him toward the kitchen. “Daph beat you guys here and made me order half the menu from the Chinese restaurant.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure!” she calls after him. “It was definitely me who wanted those three orders of crab rangoon!”

“That’s what I’m saying.” He spins to face her as we enter the space, smirking when she playfully flips him off. She turns to grab plates from the cabinet, and his wishful gaze lingers a moment longer than it should, though I’m confident I’m the only one who notices.

My brother may be brilliant, but he’s an idiot for no other reason than he’s letting her slip through his fingers. Daphne met Lucian while she was attending Vassar. She caught his interest and his pedigree checked all of her parents’ boxes. All of a sudden her parents, who couldn’t be bothered with her before, were now overjoyed to host family dinners to which they were insistent she invite her new beau.

That, coupled with the fact that my dipshit brother couldn’t pull his head out of his ass when it came to her, pretty much forced her hand when Luc popped the question. I don’t dislike Luc. I just know with him she’s settling. And as someone who knows what that feels like, it hurts my heart.

Nicky starts opening the containers as Daph passes us plates. Their banter continues like an old married couple.

Nick’s kitchen is fucking massive, which pretty much sums up his house as a whole. He bought this place a few years ago after I left for school, and I will never for the life of me understand why he needs something so huge. I am thankful for Rico and JP moving in with him so someone’s keeping him company.