Page 61 of I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

“Whatever, bitch. A girl can dream.”

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We’re sitting in Daphne’s car as I stare down at the black and white sonogram photo.

Ten weeks.

That’s what the doctor said. Ten weeks pregnant.

I tried to tell her based on the timeline it’s probably more like eight, but she explained how with pregnancy it all goes by your last period, so even if I conceived eight weeks ago it’s still considered ten weeks.

Learn something new every day, I guess.

The picture’s not much to look at. Kinda resembles a jellybean if you ask me, but that doesn’t make it any less perfect. The doctor says at this point the baby is roughly the size of a strawberry, and everything looks healthy with a strong heartbeat.

The heartbeat.

Nothing could have prepared me for the love that would overwhelm me at the sound of my baby’s heartbeat. The joy that flowed through me when that beautiful sound filled the room as Daphne squeezed my hand with excitement is a moment I will cherish forever.

It was almost perfect. I say ‘almost’ because there was one very important piece missing. And once I got over the initial wave of sadness—now I’m just pissed.

“I see your wheels turning in there, J.” Daph’s voice interrupts my internal dialogue. “Penny for your thoughts, girl.”

I inhale deep, sparing one more glance down at the picture before carefully placing it in my bag. “Can you take me to see Mav? I’m done playing this waiting game.”

“Fuck yes,” Daphne asserts, throwing the car in gear. “Let’s go get daddy, boo.”

She speeds through the side roads of Queen City at an impressive pace, and we’re crossing into Hydetown within ten minutes. I’ve never been here before, but it isn’t hard to locate Mav’s compound. It’s pretty much smack in the center of town.

Daphne slows as we approach the gate. A guy who can’t be more than our age approaches her window.

“Can I help you?” he asks with a smile, evident he hasn’t been in the game long enough to have his innocence completely robbed of him yet.

“Yes.” Daphne flashes her brilliant pearly whites and I’m pretty sure I see him momentarily swoon. “I’m Daph. This is Joanna Hunter.” She gestures to me as I offer a halfhearted wave. “Joanna is Mav’s wifey. So, we’ll just be heading on in if it’s all the same to you.”

I watch the boy’s face morph into a look of confusion as he takes me in.

“Call him,” Daphne insists with confidence. “Before he gets pissed you kept her waiting.”

“I’m not linked to the boss.” The poor dude fumbles for his walkie, holding it up for us to see. “Finn’s on duty today. I report to him.”

“Well, then call Finn.” Daphne gestures toward the walkie with a flick of her wrist.

He nods. Bringing the radio toward his mouth, he presses the button to elicit a chirp. “Front gate to Finn.”

“Go,” the voice on the other end replies.

“Um, I have a Joanna Hunter here to see the boss?”

The line is silent for a moment as the three of us stare at one another in anticipation. Just when I feel as though I’m going to snap, Finn’s voice carries over the radio once more. “Let her through. Give her directions to the Cathedral.”

“Copy,” he acknowledges.

Following the instructions the boy provided, we’re pulling up to the main house only moments later.

“You ready, babe?” Daphne grips hold of my hand, giving it a light squeeze.

“No.” I look over at her. “But we’re here now, so fuck it.” Harnessing every ounce of badass bitch energy I possess, I climb from the vehicle and make my way toward the steps with Daphne in tow. My stomach ties another knot in itself with every step I take, and before I know it, I’m at the front door ready to throw up.

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