Page 26 of I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

“Where are you going?” His voice comes out panicked, as though he wasn’t expecting me to leave.

“I’m going home, Mav,” I sigh.

“Why?”

“Because if I have to choose between home or you staring at me like a broken little bird, I’m gonna choose home every time.”

“That’s not what I’m doing!” He throws his hand up in frustration. “I just…” He pinches the bridge of his nose, his brow furrowing. “I’m just processing, okay? I’m just trying to get some clarity.”

“I will give you three questions, Maverick. You can ask me anything you want. But once you’ve used up your three, you are never to ask me about this again. Do you understand me?”

He stares at me for a moment before offering a slight nod. He slowly slides his arm out, retuning my bag to me before settling into his seat.

“Go ahead,” I prompt. “Choose wisely.”

“Did Nicky get them all?”

“Ha!” I scoff. “Did Nicky get them all?” I chuckle as I repeat his question back to him. “Nicky rained down Hell on Earth that night. He paid the lab for the results of my rape kit to be processed immediately. He knew how many were involved within hours. He not only got the three that raped me, he got the one that spiked my drink, the owner of the house where the party was… fuck, Mav, he even got the kid who stumbled in the room looking for the bathroom and ran with his tail between his legs all because he didn’t help me. I heard it was neither quick nor painless for any of them. And to finish it all off, he burned the place down when he was done so I’d never have to lay eyes on it again.” I briefly glance over at him to find him staring at me. “Next question.”

“How did your parents not find out?”

I keep my eyes fixated on the windshield in front of me. “When the 911 call came in, one of the responding paramedics was a friend of Nicky’s. He texted him before I was even at the hospital. Supposedly, I coded once in the ambulance, and Nicky told this poor guy if I died he’d skin him alive in the lobby of the ER. It must have been one hell of a motivating speech, because that boy got my heart beating and kept it that way the rest of the trip. Nicky used everything at his disposal to cover it up—threats, money. He didn’t want me to be that girl, bear that label. Aside from the kid who walked in, no one else at the party knew what happened in the basement of that house. He took any medical records from the hospital documenting the rape and had them destroyed.

“Nicky then used his contacts in the police department to have a fake accident report created detailing a car accident which would account for my injuries. It helped that he had Tommy crash my car, really sold the story. Last question.”

He’s silent for a beat longer than I expect him to be. I look over to find him still staring. I can tell he knows what he wants to ask me, he’s just debating asking it. I know what the question’s going to be. It’s the same look Nicky had on his face right before he asked me.

“Come on,” I prod him. “I know you wanna ask it. Just do it.”

He swallows, never breaking eye contact. “Were you a virgin?”

And there it is. The question for some reason that rushes to people’s minds when they hear a young girl’s been violated. As though the trauma of a rape is somehow lessened as long as you’ve consensually taken a dick prior to that point.

“No,” I respond flatly before turning away from him. “I lost my virginity two months before that to a boy from my school. He was sweet, it was awkward, neither of us knew what we were doing. Didn’t do a whole lot to prep me for the gang-bang that awaited.”

Though I’m not looking at him, I can physically feel him recoil from my words. A lone tear escapes down my right cheek, and I’m quick to brush it away. “Why’d you do this, Mav? Why’d you have to take something so fucking perfect and taint it?”

“I don’t understand.”

I turn to face him. “In the last sixteen months I have not been able to let anyone touch me—myself included. I woke up every day feeling used, disgusting, dirty. But there came a point where I accepted it. I accepted who the rape had made me, and I worked on moving forward from there. I could function. And then you just had to come along, didn’t you?” My voice cracks. “You just had to show up and remind me what it feels like to be whole again? The one person who didn’t make me feel like a statistic. And then you snatched that from me, too.” I sniffle, swiping back tears.

“Baby…” He reaches for me.

“No!” I spit, shoving him back. “I’m not a charity case, Mav. I’m not a problem you need to fix. I don’t need you to save me. I don’t know what this was, but it’s over,” I hiss. “Get the fuck off my turf, Bishop.”

I fling open the door and hop out, slamming it shut in my retreat. I make my way back over to the school lot, when I spot Tommy leaning up against my car.

Fuck. This is so not what I need right now.

“Jonsie!” he calls out as I approach.

“Hey, Tommy,” I greet him as I dig in my bag for my keys. “Where’s Nick? Everything go okay with the Parley today?”

“Yeah, it all went fine. What were you doing over there?” Tommy looks over my head to the lot across the street, but when I glance back, I see Mav’s already gone.

“I was talking to a friend.” I locate my key fob, hitting the unlock button on my Range Rover and side-stepping him to toss my bag inside.

“What friend?”

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