Page 94 of I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

“What the fuck, Mav?” She pinches the bridge of her nose, eyes screwing shut.

“I know. Unfortunately, that was also a side effect of Tommy’s shit. But anyway, somebody fed Yuri photos of our run-in on the street, and he’s convinced you and me somehow translates into me and Nicky faking our rivalry to align against him.”

“How did I not know Nicky was dealing with all this?!” She tosses her hands up in frustration.

“I don’t know, J. I mean, why did you think he never went back to motocross? Yuri wouldn’t allow him to be half-in half-out.”

“I thought after everything that happened with me that he was too afraid to leave me alone that summer. I figured he was just gonna take the year off, but then he never went back. I kind of thought I fucked it all up for him.”

I feel my brows pull together as I eye her questioningly. “What do you mean? What happened?” I knew she took the breakup bad, but I didn’t think it was to the point where Nicky couldn’t leave her alone. Jesus, if I did that to her, I will never forgive myself.

Jonsie’s face morphs into the most serious of expressions. “Mav, I have to tell you something. I need you to sit down for it.”

Shit. My brain runs wild, scanning through all the worst-case scenarios regarding whatever distress my fuck up caused her. Did she try to hurt herself? Did she actually hurt herself? I swallow against the lump in my throat, forcing a nod as I help her down from the countertop where she’s perched.

We make our way into the living room, where we both take a seat on the couch. I turn to face her as I brace myself for whatever she’s about to tell me. J stares at me, her mouth opening and closing several times as if she doesn’t know where to start.

“Hold on.” She raises a finger before scurrying off to the bedroom, returning a few seconds later, grasping her phone. She taps at the screen, swiping various ways until she finds whatever it is she’s looking for. J stares down at it for a moment before flipping it face down in her lap. “The day Tommy grabbed me, he didn’t snap out of the blue. He overheard something between me and Daphne, which sent him into a tailspin.”

“I figured that,” I respond, taking her hand in mine. “So, what was it? What did he overhear?”

Drawing in a breath as though to steady herself, she reaches for her phone. With a trembling hand, Jones hands it over to me.

I look to her in confusion as I take it before glancing down at the screen.

In the back of my mind, I know what I’m looking at. However, my brain pushes back, disputing what my eyes are registering, attempting to protect itself from the painful truth currently clawing at any remaining sanity I possess. I sit stoic, frozen, staring at the black and gray image as my eyes zone in on the little blurb that just barely resembles the vague shape of a small human.

“Wh- What is this?” I look to her just as the tears begin to slowly spill from her eyes. I feel dizzy, my hand bracing the leather cushion beside me to stabilize myself. Bringing my eyes back to the screen, I pull the phone closer, taking note of the name and numbers in the top right corner.

Patient: Hunter, Joanna

GA: 10 wks 2 days

My eyes then locate the date. I’d know that date anywhere. It’s forever engrained in my mind as the day I broke her heart, destroying my life in the process.

“You were coming to tell me, weren’t you?” My words come out ragged, like I can’t catch my breath.

“Yes.” Her voice slips out low, lower than a whisper, yet she may as well be screaming it in my face.

The phone slips from my grasp, my entire body turning to face her as I grip hold of her arms. “Jones.” I slide from the couch onto my knees, coming to rest in front of her. I squeeze her tighter, attempting to anchor myself as my mind spirals with the burning question that’s consuming me. “Jones, where’s our baby?” The question rushes from my lips, causing more tears to fall from her, and I feel myself coming unhinged. “Joanna!” My voice comes out hard as I give her a slight shake. “Where’s the baby? Where’s my baby?!”

“I lost it, Mav. I miscarried at twelve weeks… on your birthday.” Her tears flow forth in full force as she drops her head into her hands.

My body gives out, falling backward and knocking into the coffee table as I begin to hyperventilate. I claw at my chest in effort to relieve the vice that’s tightening around my lungs, making it so I can’t breathe.

She was pregnant. My girl, the love of my fucking life, was carrying my child inside her and when she came to tell me—when she came to share what should have been the happiest news of our lives—I had that filthy whore open the door and let her think I fucked her.

Oh my God, I’m gonna be sick.

I collapse to the side, coming to rest on all fours as I dry heave through strangled sobs. Tears start to cloud my vision as I relive that day in my mind. The tortured pain on her face as she stared up at me. It’s all amplified now with the realization that my baby was inside her.

Jones drops down to the floor beside me, pulling me into her. My arms wrap around her waist as I melt into her torso. The second my head hits her stomach; I just fucking lose it.

I crack. Sobs wrack my body as I cry out, the pain overtaking me and slicing me from the inside. “I’m so sorry,” I force out, my whole body shaking as I squeeze her tighter. “It was right here.” I turn my face, pressing gently into the soft exposed skin beneath the hem of her crop top. “Our baby was right here. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were leaving me for another woman, Mav. I wasn’t trying to trap you with a baby.” She strokes at my hair, attempting to calm me, but I don’t deserve any of it.

“How can you even stand to be in the same room as me?” I release her, sitting up and coming to rest against the side of the coffee table. “I’m a piece of shit.” A low rage starts simmering beneath the surface as I grow more disgusted with myself by the second.

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