Page 93 of I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

I rise from my seat, moving to stand in front of her. Planting my hands on either side of her hips, I position myself in between her knees. “For you. I know what Nicky means to you. I would never let anything happen to him if I could prevent it. You were gone. Bent was gone. There was no reason for me to pull out of the game. So, I stayed in.”

“But you kept the club. And you’ve kept building legitimate businesses. Why?”

I smile. Looking over to the side, I spot a pen. I grab for it while also reaching for a napkin from our breakfast. “It was always his dream.”

With a sigh, I begin writing.

Blush

Echo

Niche

Torque

Lounge

Envy

Youth

Taking the pen, I draw a long vertical line down the napkin, separating the first letter of each word from the rest. I turn the napkin toward her so she can read it, her breath hitching when she sees the word they form.

“Bentley,” she says softly before looking back to me. “You named them for him.”

“Yeah, apparently that’s a theme with me.” I roll my eyes, causing her to press me further.

“What do you mean?” Her brow arches.

“I own one additional property here in the city.”

“What?” She laughs. “What is it?”

I look around the room, gesturing with my hand for effect.

“You bought the building?”

I nod.

“But why 'The Rebel Dutchess?' Why would you name something after Nicky’s territory?”

“I didn’t.” Taking the napkin back from her, I flip it over to begin writing once more. “It’s something Bentley said once.” I write the name out for her to see. Once I’ve done so, I go back, crossing out the “T” in Dutchess. “They may be the Dukes, but she’s their Duchess.” I hand it back to her, her eyes slowly transferring between the paper and my face. “And you may have been their Duchess, but you were my Queen… so you were a Rebel at heart.” She continues to stare at me, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I thought if I spelled it the regular way it would be too obvious.”

“If you felt this way, why did you break it off?”

“Because I’m a fucking idiot.” I drop to my elbows, pressing my head into her chest as I slowly breathe in and out. J brings her hand up to stroke my hair, and I briefly lose myself to the serenity of her touch before lifting my gaze to meet hers once more. “After we killed Tommy, we knew we were fucked dealing with the mess he left. Nicky was scared for how our shit could blow back on you. His fear got in my head, convinced me that I’d be putting you at risk if we stayed together.”

“That wasn’t your choice to make alone.”

“I know. I was wrong. I’m so sorry, baby.” My hand comes up to caress the side of her face. “I fucked up and I cost us all this time. And now I’m scared shitless that the only person I’ve ever loved is never coming back to me.”

She sighs. Placing her hand over my heart, she presses her palm flat against me, feeling the frantic rhythm of my pulse. “There’s a lot I want to say in response to that. But I think I need to go settle some other things before I do. It’s not fair to Caleb if I don’t.”

The air rushes from my lungs in relief and for the first time in what seems like forever, I can finally breathe. She’s gonna leave him. And even though that doesn’t mean she’ll be back here anytime soon, it’s a start. One I will happily take.

“So, this situation with the Russians… is it still bad?” She nervously chews on her bottom lip.

“It’s not great, baby. And I’m not gonna lie, you and me? We gotta be careful. Yuri, their leader… he’s not a fan of me. I’m aligned with the mafia, who are his direct competition.”

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