Page 41 of Feathers and Thorns

“Are you all right?” he asked, speaking above the music. His tone was surprisingly gentle, given his tough exterior.

“Yeah,” she spat out. “Must be the change in altitude.”

Seeming to accept that answer, he smiled and said, “We are almost there. Have some water and sit for a moment, and you’ll be as good as new.”

She returned his kind smile, albeit half-heartedly, and took a few more calming breaths.

As they traveled, Enara had been working with her to manage her panic better so she wouldn’t succumb to it like she had back at the manor. Anytime her panic arose, Enara would walk her through the five senses to help her regain her composure and practice deep breathing until she was well enough to speak again. But Enara would not always be there, and she would not submit herself to being their third wheel for the rest of her life.

Idly, her thoughts popped back to her home in Vreburn and the little jar of pills in her bedside table. She had never liked taking them in the first place and only had when it seemed absolutely necessary. She was determined to heal on her own without the need to supplement herself.

She waved the guard off and tried to put up her mental shield to fight against the intrusive thoughts.

You are a disgrace, the voice in her mind sneered at her, the same voice that filled her with regret and self-doubt, but she fought it back.

I did not know of his actions until after my feelings developed. It is not my fault.

You are disgusting for still caring for such a beast.

Feelings don’t just go away, even if you hate someone.

You should have killed him.

Killing him will not bring my father back.

The last retort seemed to silence the demons in her mind and gave her the reprieve she needed to steady herself. Her senses came back into focus, and she let the drums replenish her energy stores. She could still feel the voice nagging in the back of her mind, but it was far away, muted by the cacophony of music that surrounded her.

I will not let you win today, she thought to herself as she placed a firm wall up to block out the last of her negative thoughts. Today, I will enjoy myself fully and not seek out meaningless pleasure.

With that in mind, she walked around the final curve of the carved-out tunnel and took in all Hallival had to offer.

* * *

The crowd before her was so large that every citizen in the province had to have been in attendance. Thousands of bodies swayed back and forth, moving to the rhythm of the massive drums that sat on a platform above the fray.

The cave was naturally occurring, but stoneworkers had carved out staircases and platforms to make the space more usable, working with the naturally formed pillars. The stalagmites and stalactites were so large that they connected floor-to-ceiling, and a bright teal pool sat in the far corner. An assortment of every sweet Soren had ever deigned to think of sat atop a large flat stone on the right-hand side of the room, and a grouping of people milled about happily. She noticed Baz shoveling the goodies into his mouth at an unhealthy pace and laughed. Good thing his mask doesn’t cover his jaw, she thought.

She jumped as a hand encircled her wrist but relaxed when she realized it was Enara.

“Hey, lady, thought I lost you there,” she said, out of breath from running up the stairs. “Ori said you needed a moment to yourself. Are you okay?”

“Who?” Soren asked distractedly.

“Ori, the guard. His brother’s name is Ikei.”

“Oh, gotcha. Yeah, no, I’m okay. Was just overwhelmed for a minute, but I’m good now.”

Enara’s hazel eyes bore into her brown ones from beneath her mask.

“I promise,” Soren said. “Now, go have fun.”

“Okay, but it’s crazy down there. Meet at the bottom of this staircase when the night’s over if we don’t find each other before then?”

“Yeah, yeah. Now, go!”

As she turned to leave, Soren smacked her on the butt, and Enara gave her the finger.

“Have fun,” her friend yelled then added, “But not too much!”

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