Page 60 of Without You, Scotch and Sammy 2

“Is he a masochist? Why stay under the same roof with someone he hates? Why get to know a baby that he doesn’t get to keep? Why does he want to hurt himself?”

Luc’s restraining hands release mine and run through his short blonde hair. He groans as reality slams down on him. His best friend is hurting again, and he doesn’t know how to fix it. “I dunno, Soda. But he can’t ask any clearer than he already has. He’s asking you to stay, so unless you have a reason not to – other than you feel bad for him – then just stay. Let the dude take back five minutes with the woman he thought was his forever. He clearly needs closure, because, let’s face it, you kinda ditched in the most horrifying fucking way ever. He never even got five minutes to say goodbye. You were just there, at The Shed listening to us play and planning nurseries and discussing pink or blue, then you were gone, and so was the baby and the future you guys had discussed. You fucked him over big time, and he still hasn’t processed that properly. But now maybe he can.”

“I swear I was trying to do the right thing by leaving.”

Luc shrugs as his sad eyes meet mine. “I’m the wrong audience, doll. And though I’m dying to know how you can justify what happened, he needs to hear it first. You left us all, but you took his heart with you, and you have no clue the carnage you left behind.”

“Luc…”

“I suggest you guys talk. Today. Tonight. Whenever. But you need to put it all out on the table. It couldn’t possibly get any worse by this point, and your vague ‘I thought I was doing the right thing’ doesn’t really help anyone except you and your own guilt. If it all goes to shit, well, call me and I’ll take you to my place, or a hotel or wherever you wanna go, but it all needs to be hashed out. Maybe then, he’ll have some kind of closure, and he’ll be able to move on.”

My brows pull in tight. “He’s already moved on. He was practically screwing a chick in his kitchen when I turned up here the other night.”

Luc shakes his head. “While I actually wish that was the truth, even at the expense of your feelings, we both know it’s not. You’re smarter than that, Soda. That’s why you tutored us all. Don’t go fishing now. Don’t be that person.”

My heart painfully knocks around in my chest. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying that both of you made promises when we were kids, but only one of you kept them.”

Our gazes snap up when Angelo walks into the living room with Lily in his arms. “He said to tell you he’s gone out for a bit. He’s got a standing appointment with one of the kids in town, so he has to work, but he said he’ll be home later, and he hopes that you’ll still be here.”

I look to Luc in an ‘I told you so’ way, but he shakes his head. “He asked you to stay.”

“He also said to remind you about the iron, because he didn’t do it yet.”

I nod my head sadly as Angelo takes a seat in the single recliner, then he starts rocking Lily as her eyes drift close. “Go take a shower, Sammy, then I have to go back to work.”

I stand up slowly and step toward him with my arms out. “I’ll take her.”

He looks up at me with a smirk. “You really don’t listen very well, huh? I can see why he’s frustrated. I said go take a shower. I’m holding her because I wanna. If I didn’t, then I’d just put her down. It’s not like she’s gonna run away, and it’s not like he owns a giant, baby eating dog.”

Luc stands up with a light chuckle. “My shift starts soon, so I better go too.” He leans down in front of Angelo and drops a soft kiss on Lily’s cheek. “Be good. Don’t run away.” Then to Ang, “I’ll be at the club later. Bet my ball sack and a bag of cooties we have new shit to learn tonight.”

***

An hour after finishing up in the shower and letting Angelo out of Sam’s apartment, Lily and I wander toward Main street in the winter sun with our fluffy hats and thick coats on. The sun is just barely warm enough that it touches my skin, but the breeze takes away most reason to stay outside.

I’m on the way to see Juliette, and I wanted to get out of the apartment for a few hours to make room in case Sam wanted to drop in. He’s asking me to stay, but I can at least provide him with a little space as often as possible.

Lily eyes me curiously in the stroller and sucks on her giant pacifier, and I walk slowly as my boots slosh in the melting snow.

The deep thump, thump, thump of a basketball on concrete ground echoes along the street, and I smile as I remember the basketball courts from when I was younger. I guess they’re still in the same spot in town.

I don’t walk closer to get a look. Instead, I walk by the hotel I was staying in, then turn onto Main and nearly collide with a group of women. We all smile and murmur our apologies, then they noisily continue on as a giant black dog follows closely behind.

I don’t think about Meg more than a couple times a year, but seeing groups of girlfriends hanging out and laughing makes me miss her more than I ever expected I would. We were friends for a short time, but what we had was special.

My folks and I moved here and forced me to leave behind all the girls I went to middle school with, then starting at a new school in ninth grade with the hottest boy staring at me more often than not, I found myself caught up in thinking about him rather than finding a new group of female friends.

I was so out of practice and suspicious of anything my parents suggested was good for me, that when Meg was forced into my life, I wanted nothing to do with her. I’m so thankful for the friendship she gave me, even if, similarly to Sam, it was short lived and ended because of me.

I should text her and ask how she’s doing.

“Hey, you!”

I turn at the shout coming from behind me, and I peer into the sun as that same group of women from earlier stop and stare back at me. The big dog stands in front of them, guarding a stroller similar to mine. I look around, checking behind me to see if they’re talking to someone else, but it’s just me here.

I point at myself hesitantly. “Me?”

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