Page 43 of Without You, Scotch and Sammy 2

“You’re not in contact with them?”

She shakes her head softly, then beams a stunning smile as Lily lets out a sudden, loud, man sized belch. She pats the baby’s back and kisses her head with pride. “No, I’m not in contact with them. I haven’t seen or heard a word from them in a very long time.”

“You got away from them?”

She nods.

“Do they know about Lily?” Are they gonna fuck this up for her?

“No, there’s no contact between us at all. They stopped trying after a couple years of silence from me. Now I’m a grown woman and can’t be controlled, so they stopped trying.”

She was a grown woman, at least according to the law, the last time I saw her. She let them control her then. “Why’d you stop talking to them?”

Her eyes fire angrily, even as her hands remain gentle and pat Lily’s back. “Because they ruined my life.”

I nod my head. I can relate. They ruined my life too.

Sammy steps further into the kitchen, digging into her handbag on the table with one hand while balancing Lily with the other. She pulls out tiny diapers and wipes, bottles of water, containers of powdered formula, a tiny medicine dropper, then finally with an ‘ah ha,’ she pulls out a small glass bottle with a white child-proof lid and a large sticker I recognize from drug stores as a prescription label. Balancing Lily, she places the top of the bottle in her mouth and starts to twist, and realizing her intent, I step forward. “Here.” I take the bottle and quickly unscrew the cap, then placing it on the table in front of her, I watch as she picks up the dropper and starts measuring.

Lily is floppy and lazy in Sammy’s arms, and though I know I’m going to regret this for the rest of my life, I hold my hands out. “I’ll hold her… if you want.”

Sammy’s beautiful eyes snap up to mine in shock. She holds Lily tighter to her chest, as though she’s scared I’m going to run away with her. I haven’t given her much reason to trust me the last twenty-four hours. “I won’t move; I’ll just hold her while you do that.”

She watches me for a minute more, then with a soft nod, she places the dropper down and turns to me. She picks Lily up and away from her chest, then as I stand with my arms cupped in a way I learned specially for my nephew, she lays the smallest baby I’ve ever seen in my life in my arms. “My nephew was born bigger than this three-month-old.”

Sammy smiles softly, turning back to the medicine. “I can’t believe you have a nephew. I almost died when you said your sister is married. Last I checked, she was nine and had an attitude problem.”

“Well she’s much older now, but still has an attitude.”

Sammy shakes her head as she measures out the dosage from the small bottle.

“What’s that?”

“Iron. She’s still a little anemic, so she takes this for the boost.” She wrinkles her nose as she pulls the dropper from the bottle. “Smells like metal.”

“Does it taste like metal?”

She smiles softly. “I dunno. I’ve never tried it.”

I hold my hand out between us, palm side up, and she frowns. “Give me a drop. I wanna taste.”

“It smells pretty bad.”

I shrug my shoulders. “The baby has to taste it. It can’t be too awful.”

Sammy watches me, but shrugging her own shoulders, she holds the dropper over my hand and squeezes a single drop onto my palm. With an expectant gaze, she looks back up at me. I bring my hand to my mouth and lick.

“What does it taste like?”

“Like I licked a penny.”

She laughs in a way I’ve dreamt about for as long as I can remember. It’s bitter sweet, but with a snuggly baby on my chest, I find it just a little more sweet than it is bitter.

“You’re still all about jumping in head first, huh? I’ve had access to this stuff for months, and I didn’t even consider tasting it.”

Our eyes meet, and hers turn darker at the reminder of all that goes unsaid. She was always the calculated doer.

“Nah, I don’t jump very much at all anymore. It’s rarely worth it.”

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