Page 51 of Without You, Scotch and Sammy 2

“He’s your best friend. Your loyalties are with him, not me.”

“Yeah. He’s my best friend, which makes this worse. I expected better from him.”

– Scotch –

So Fuckin’ Cozy

My apartment is lit up like Times Square, and the sounds of laughter travels outside despite the fact the windows and doors are shut to keep out the cold.

I stand in the parking lot at the bottom of my outside stairs, as snow steadily falls and moistens my hair, and I watch the apartment as fog moves past my lips on every exhale. My hair hangs in my eyes and tickles my ears. The cold breeze sends small flurries of snow around in tiny cyclones, and the fingers of cold send shivers running beneath my coat.

It’s eleven at night, and like last night, I was planning on sneaking in between Lily’s feeds. Sammy said she wakes her at midnight, three, and six, so last night I snuck in at eleven, set my alarm, napped, then snuck out again at five.

I don’t want to see her. I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to hold her pretty baby and feel the painful splinters in my heart.

I ran around the lake for more than an hour this morning, and even risked my sister’s wrath by turning up at her place so early. I needed a shower. And coffee. I needed family.

When Lily woke in the night and gave Sammy trouble with her loud cries, my hands itched to hold her – so I snuck out when I could and I held Charlie instead. I’m allowed to love him freely, and I never have to worry about him being taken away from me. I didn’t tell Britt why I was there except to say I wanted coffee and a hug, and she didn’t ask. She took the opportunity to have a hot shower while someone else held her baby, then she came back downstairs and stared at me curiously.

I probably should tell Britt that Sammy’s in town before she finds out some other way. Britt was only nine or so when my life collapsed in on itself. Old enough to remember my devastation. Too young to truly know the details. She’s never been quiet on her unfiltered hate when it comes to Sammy, so ironically, if Britt comes across her in town, it’s Sammy who I’d have to protect.

That’s just how fucking cruel the universe likes to be to me.

My eyes narrow when I hear the strumming of a guitar coming from inside my apartment, then Sammy’s free laughter, and though my head begs me not to do it, I still move up the stairs and open the door.

“I’m just saying,” Luc says obnoxiously loud in the living room. “You knew she was here. And you weren’t gonna tell me? I came down to the shop today to hang, and you pretended nothing was up. Asshole.”

“Well it’s none of your damn business,” Angelo argues back. “She didn’t come here to see your ugly mug.”

“No, she came to see his, and he was a dick.”

I frown at Luc’s words. And my guitar that continues to be played. In all the scenarios where I imagined we’d all be in the same room together again, I never once imagined the guys would take her side so quickly. I mean, they’re my best friends, and they know what she did. They know she left me broken. They had to pick up the pieces.

In fact, like with Britt, I imagined I’d have to defend Sammy to the guys. I thought she’d have to win me over, then as a team, we’d win the guys over. But Luc’s bitter words have my stomach dropping.

“He was fine,” Sammy defends me. Yep, the universe is seriously that messed up. “He’s been very gracious letting us stay here.”

“Yeah,” Luc scoffs. “Super gracious. Where is he right now? Why’d he leave you girls here alone?”

I’ve had enough, and I especially don’t want to hear the rest of this conversation. I walk through my kitchen to the living room entrance, then stop as red washes over my vision. Angelo sits on the single recliner with a beer in his hand and his feet kicked up, and Luc and Sammy both sprawl out on the two-seater couch I know was in the garage coffee room earlier today. Luc sits on one end, with my acoustic guitar in his lap and his fingers strumming softly, and Sammy sits on the other end… with her bare feet in his lap and a nail polish bottle clasped between her fingers.

“Wow, Luc. You sure look comfy.”

Sammy’s eyes snap up to mine, then as she attempts to lift her feet away, his hands come down on them quickly and he holds her down.

His eyes meet mine lazily and his lips turn up into a cocky Luc Lenaghan smile. “Yup. I like it here. Super comfy.” His left hand pats her bare thigh just above the knee. She’s wearing little cotton sleep shorts and a giant sweater, and just seeing them touching in even the most platonic way sends bubbles of lava running through my veins.

“Sam--”

“Get the fuck out, Luc. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow night.”

He watches me with that smirk and a lifted brow. “Nah. I always loved this couch. Thinking I might sleep over tonight.”

“Lenaghan--”

“Crime stats have been up around here lately, Sam. People are getting hurt. Cops are getting shot. I can’t believe you just left these girls alone to defend themselves.”

“There’s literally one entrance to this apartment, dickhead, and a noisy ass set of steps leading up to it.”

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