Page 31 of Without You, Scotch and Sammy 2

He nods. “You know where to find me.” He looks back to the still hidden baby in the carseat. “Catch you later, Squeak. Be good for your mama.”

Mama. Sammy is a mama.

I watch as Sammy’s face unexpectedly pales, but Angelo doesn’t take notice, he just sets the carseat on the floor by the table – facing away from me – then he squeezes Sammy’s shoulder on his way out.

We both stand in silence as we watch the door close behind him, then her face comes back around. She’s nervous and fidgety. She’s beautiful. And I need to harden the fuck up before I ask her to marry me again.

– Sammy –

Ouch

I wish Angelo would stop calling me Mama. It feels awkward. I feel like a phony. I’m not her mom, I’m just someone who loves her like a mom would love her baby. I’m not here to replace Shari, I just want to make sure Lily is happy and safe and fed. I want her to love me like I love her, but she doesn’t have to call me Mama.

“What do you want, Samantha?”

Straight to the heart.

He promised he’d never call me Samantha again.

“Angelo calls you Scotch.”

“Yeah. Next.”

“Um… okay.” Where do I even start? “It’s been a long time.”

“Yup. Long time. Next.”

I let out a deep sigh. This isn’t the Sam I remember. I don’t even know how to talk to him. “Maybe we should do this a little more formally. Perhaps our lawyers could set up a mediation or something.”

“Why do we need lawyers? Just get to the fucking point, Samantha. Thirteen years is a long time. You didn’t come all the way back here to shoot the shit. You want something, so say it.”

“I need your help.”

His light eyes flash with anger. “Why in hell would I help you? I don’t even know you anymore.”

“Because you’re a good person. You’re angry for some reason, and you’re taking shots at me. But the Sam I knew was a good man.”

“The Sam you knew? Are you fucking stupid?”

I inhale a painful gulp of air. He’s changed so much. This man in front of me is a stranger.

“And I’m angry ‘for some reason?’ Don’t be that person, Samantha. Don’t be stupid. It doesn’t look good on you.”

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“But this isn’t about what I want from you, is it? This is about you wanting something from me. So, like I said, get to the fucking point!”

Lily whimpers at Sam’s shouted words. I step forward and rock her carseat gently, and I face him square on. “I need your help. I need two months of your time. I need you to do this one single selfless deed that’ll guarantee you a spot in heaven and all the good karma any man could ever wish for.”

He stares at me for a long minute, breathing angrily through his teeth as his chest lifts and falls rapidly. “You want something big from me, and in payment, you offer a seat in a world I don’t believe in, with a god who’s done nothing but fuck me over time and time again, and good karma?”

It sounded better in my head. “If you want something from me in return, just ask. Anything you want. This is more important than anything I own. Just name it.”

“Come suck my dick, Sammy. You’ll do anything? Give anything? Come kneel at my feet and pick up where you left off more than a decade ago.”

“Sam--”

He nods victoriously. “That’s what I thought. So just god and good karma then? That’s what it’s worth to you?”

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