“That’s my fault,” Celia said. “I never tell him the important things, my real fears. I didn’t want to think about it myself.”
“It is absolutely not your fault. And you’re changing it now, right?”
Celia let her head rest against Kelsey’s shoulder. Hearing that felt surprisingly good. “I’ll probably still do his stupid laundry,” she said. Amazingly, a giggle almost escaped her. Definitely the wine.
“Celia,” Kelsey said, “I’m going to tell you something. Taking care of someone isn’t stupid. It’s one of the kindest, hardest things you can do. My mom handled everything, so I could just be a kid.”
“Noble,” Celia murmured and felt Kelsey chuckle.
“I hope I’m a little like her,” she continued. “I’m going to find out soon.”
Celia was silent, not following.
“I’m going to have a baby,” Kelsey said.
Celia sat up in shock, grabbing at Kelsey’s hand with a yelp. “What? When? Oh, Kelsey!”
Kelsey’s sunny grin transformed her. “I’m about three months in. I was going to have to tell you soon anyway.”
“Oh my god, this is why you won’t drink wine anymore!”
“I thought for sure that would give me away,” Kelsey beamed.
Celia couldn’t contain her questions. “Who? Is it Charlie? Will you get married?”
“It’s the twenty-first century,” Kelsey laughed. “No, if Charlie and I wanted to be together, we would have done it by now. But he’ll be involved. So will my mom. I’m going to move in with her, and she’ll help.”
Celia shuddered. The very thought! “Are you happy about it?”
Kelsey simply glowed. “I’m thrilled! I mean, I am now. It was killing me to not tell you all! A baby, can you imagine?” She eyed Celia thoughtfully. “You could still have a baby, you know. You’re good at taking care of people. You’d rock it.”
Celia recoiled. “No. I can’t have a family.”
“Of course, you can. You do! We’re your family, me and Andrew, and Trevor. Maybe León if he can get his act together.”
“No, I mean—” Celia paused, then plunged ahead. “I won’t ever have kids. Someone has to stop my family from going on like they have.”
Kelsey’s eyes brimmed, saddened. “Oh, Celia.” She hugged her friend tightly. “You stopped them by not being like them.”
“Is that enough?” Celia said, muffled up against her friend’s shoulder. “How do I undo it all?”
Kelsey finally let her go. “The thing you have to do,” she said fiercely, “is what’s good for you. Undo it that way! If you want your art list, work on it. If you like taking care of León, do that too.”
Celia held her breath, feeling almost hopeful. Kelsey made it sound easy.
“Just play to your strengths more!” Kelsey said. “Organize something. Start another business! Just don’t let León keep calling all the shots. Take your own shot, girl.”
Celia drained the last of her wine. Feelings were exhausting, even the good ones! “For now, just tell me everything about this baby.”
Kelsey plunged into the details, to Celia’s relief. Part of her searched gingerly inside, though, for fear or anger. It didn’t seem to be there anymore.
Telling Kelsey hadn’t been as difficult as she’d expected. Maybe she couldn’t paint, but talking didn’t take talent. Only courage.
Maybe she could tell León, someday.
One thing was for sure, she would not let today’s roller coaster send her into a spiral. No backlash from revealing too much, not this time!
She was getting better, dammit!