Page 148 of Painting Celia

“It wasn’t about you.”

A broken, mirthless laugh escaped him.

“First, I couldn’t speak at all,” she said. “Then I could barely tell you the bad things. But I always held back the good things, and the more you pressed, the harder it got to say them.”

He frowned ferociously at the floor, jaw set.

She lifted her chin. “If I showed you the worst and you left, I would know why. I expected it.”

“If I left?” he scoffed, fingers working tightly on the chair.

“León, I couldn’t be your muse.”

He spun to pace, a few desperate feet back and forth before her and the candles. “I know, I pushed too hard, that stupid argument about belonging. I was wrong. I wanted to be closer to you and didn’t care how I got it.” He stopped, his eyes beseeching, the distance still gaping between them. “I still want that, and if that means never painting again, well…I quit painting.”

“It’s not that, León! I’m the one that failed!”

In his confused silence, another slice of lightning split the room.

“You said we needed trust, and I didn’t trust….” Her throat choked unexpectedly.

She couldn’t even say the words! Staying silent was the only power she’d ever had. She drew a stuttering breath, the air too thin.

She felt herself standing on the edge again, the world dropping off before her. Did she jump this time?

Slowly, she rose and walked to him. His eyes burned with that old terrible hope.

He joined her in the dark, stopping only before they touched. Their eyes met, their breaths mirrored, but the bare handspan between them lay deep as a canyon.

“Reina, I want one more chance.”

“And if I say no?”

He took a ragged breath. “Please don’t,” he said, low.

“What if I say no?”

“Then, I just keep trying to be someone you want to say yes to.”

Her heart felt like it might tear open and pour out all her words.

She jumped.

“León, I love you.”

His expression only grew more sorrowful.

“Don’t you dare say that unless I can stay,” he said, voice breaking.

She choked on a laugh that was half sob.

“Yes. Stay.”

He reached for her, and the world lit up; music soared.

•••

León buried his face in her neck, breathing in her longed-for scent, hands wrapping around that beloved curve of her waist, crushing her to him.

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