Evan’s mom reminds me of the stereotypical housewife from the fifties. She is always so polished and perfect. She is the sweetest woman, but there are days I wonder if she is truly happy in her life.
Every time Evan brought up the subject of having kids, I would try to change the subject. I love kids, but I have never thought about how many I would want. Planning for kids and having them are two different things. Evan comes from a big family. He wants to have as many children as his parents did. He is steadfast that we will have at least four, so I just dropped it for now. There is no point in arguing with him.
We have all the time in the world to plan that part of our lives anyway. We are still teenagers.
I never considered being a stay-at-home mom. I want a career and a life of my own. I want to be independent. Evan wants to take care of me for the rest of our lives. Yes, I like the idea of someone taking care of me, but I still want to be able to support myself as well. I want to be able to decide my future.
It is my last day in town. Evan had to cancel our plans together today, saying something came up with his family. He did not tell me what was going on, and I didn't ask. He promised to make tonight memorable.
We are in his dorm room tonight, sitting next to each other on the floor in front of the TV, watching his favorite movie. Evan has been abnormally quiet but very touchy-feely with me. His hands are always on some part of my body. Kissing me randomly.
We finish our food while the movie is still playing. I go to grab his takeout container to throw away. Instead, he takes mine and tosses it away before sitting beside me. I give him a tentative smile. He never does things like that for me. I have always been the one to clean up the messes. He is a big believer in women being women. Cleaning, cooking, housework, child baring, etc.
He looks at his phone, checking the time before turning to me.
“Serena, I wanted to give you something before you leave tomorrow morning.” He sounds so nervous. He is rubbing his hands on his jean-clad thighs.
“What’s that, Evan?” My anxiety rising, perplexed about what is going on.I stare at the man I have known almost all my life. His brown eyes are shining, happy. His normally stern face has soften, a small smile gracing his lips. He is a handsome guy, but at the same time he isn’t memorable when you look at him. I should be able to see my future in his eyes, but I cannot.
Evan pulls a small black box from his pockets and holds it close to his chest. “Serena Gold. I love you. I want the world to know. I need to make sure that no guys will ever try to make a move on the most amazing girl there is. I want to make you mine. Will you marry me?” He opens the box. Inside is a ring with a large circular diamond in the center, surrounded by smaller diamonds on a platinum band.
I can’t breathe.
My brain stops working as I look between him and the ring in his hand.
Is this really what I want? We are still so young and have our whole lives ahead of us. My hands grow sweaty, and my breathing turns ragged. My eyes are wide while I stare at him. With each second of silence, the tension grows between us, and he grows angrier.
Evan is still on one knee, his hand clenches around the ring box. I look at the ring again. I would never pick out for myself. I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to figure out the right words to say to him. The words are warring in my head. A part of me wants to say yes. The other part is telling me to grab my stuff and run.
“I-I don’t know what to say. Aren’t we too young for this?” I ask gently. His smile completely fades, and is quickly replaced with a terrifying sneer that makes me want to tremble. I know that look. I have only seen it a few times.
“Are you fucking saying no to me?” He yells, getting to his feet. He may not be much taller than me, but he makes me feel so small and weak.
I can feel my body internally shrinking, trying to hide from his rage. I want to say anything to appease him, but I can’t. The words are stuck in my throat, not willing to come out.
I feel his slap before I even notice him moving. His hand connects hard with my cheek. I fall on my back. My cheek burns from the pain, and tears well in my eyes. He quickly advances on me, and I fold in on myself, trying to protect myself from the next blow I knew was coming.
He straddles my body on the floor. Evan roughly grabs my shoulders and shakes me. My head bouncing off the floor with each shake. My eyesight starts to blur, tears running down my cheeks.
“If you want a real reason to cry, I will give you one.” He screams in my face. I can barely process his words before he swings his fist down on me. The sickening sound of bone crunching fills the empty space. I scream out in pain as I clutch my cheek.
“Do you see what you made me do?” He bellows at me. “Do you think I want to hurt you? You made me do it. Why couldn’t you say yes to me?” He pleads.
Evan gets off me and sits next to my shaking body. He pulls me into his arms. My body stiffens with the contact, not knowing what will happen next. His hands slowly stroke my hair while he tries to calm me down. He whispers sweet words into my hair, false promises that he will never do it again to me, as he pleads me to forgive and love him.
I stay quiet, trying to will myself to calm down. When my body finally stops shaking, I push back from him and stare into his brown eyes. The same brown eyes I used to love looking into. The eyes that used to hold so much warmth for me. Now, they almost seem hollow. I know what I have to say. My heart breaks as I say the words.
“Yes, Evan, I will marry you.” I breathe out. I stare at the ring and shakily give him my left hand. He slips the ring on my third finger.
He mauls me with kisses. I beg my body to stay relaxed and not stiffen at his touch. I know I have to give him what he wants. I need to be the girl he desires. He looks down at me with pure excitement and joy on his face.I made him happy. Thank God.
I look back down at the ring. It is a beautiful ring but not my style. I would have preferred something simpler and more elegant. This ring screams Evan. It is over the top and shows how much money he has.
All the conversations we have had this week suddenly make sense. Evan starts rambling on about everything that will need to be done. Talking about an engagement party, the type of dress I should wear, the ceremony, and the bachelor party. His mind and mouth moving a mile a minute. Spilling out every detail of which he has already thought. I try to latch onto his train of thought but cannot keep up with him.
I inwardly sigh as I think about all this. This is asinine. We are still young. We have the rest of our lives still. I want to voice that, but I already know how he will react. Evan is so used to getting everything he wants when he wants it.
“I think we should wait to tell people. We can secretly start planning the wedding. Next summer, we can announce and have a beach wedding.” I say to him, hoping he will compromise on that. I see a flash of anger in his eyes, his posture tense.