Page 20 of Mayhem

I started talking to Evie again. She is too good of a person to forgive me for ignoring her the way I did. She never asked me to explain why I did what I did. She just forgave me and moved on. She and I have been spending a lot of time together. I go over to her house most days after school. It is nice to finally have a friend who wouldn’t stab me in the back the first chance she got.

She has asked me about the Kings a few times. Every time she does, I change the subject.

I’ve talked to her about Evan and his rush to get married. I haven’t told her about anything else. I don’t need to ruin a friendship by telling her all the bad stuff. I keep telling myself Evan will be better when I return to Florida. That he is just stressed right now. That is why he is taking it out on me. Hopefully, the more I say it, the more I believe it.

I walk downstairs to the kitchen to grab breakfast before Evie picks me up from school. Since Mom has started work again, I don’t have a car to drive. I can hear Mom rummaging around in the kitchen, some music playing in the background. I walk in and gasp.

A huge “Happy Birthday” sign is across an entire wall.

“Happy birthday!” Mom says while embracing me. I hug her back and enjoy the moment.

We sit down at the table and eat breakfast together. Mom made me my favorite breakfast, Belgian waffles with maple syrup and bacon. The smell alone is making my mouth water. I take a huge bite, groaning in pleasure as the sweet taste coats my tongue. I have missed having sweet food.

Like every morning, Mom and I talk about her job and how school is going. She asks me if I have any plans with Evie tonight. I hadn’t even told Evie today was my birthday. I was hoping to ignore it this year.

Mom kisses me on the head before she walks out the door for work. I enjoy the quiet for a moment before my phone starts dinging repeatedly.

I opened my phone to see Cleo tagged me in something she posted. I open it up and almost drop my phone. Cleo tagged me in a photo of her holding her stomach. A baby bump is clear.

Evan and I are so excited. The baby is due in February. I think it’s a girl, and Evan thinks it’s a boy. Daddy and I love you and can not wait to meet you, my sweet baby.

February. That must mean she is at least four months pregnant.Evan cheated on me.

So much is making sense all of a sudden.

He cheated on me with Cleo and got her pregnant. Then he asked me to marry him. I said yes.

I scream. I don’t know what else to do. I toss my phone on the table and scream until my lungs give out. My breath is erratic, a storm brewing inside me. I can feel myself spiraling into a panic attack. How could he do this to me? I thought he loved me. I thought he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Instead, he decided to settle down with me so he wouldn’t have to marry her.

My hands are shaking, and I feel like I can’t breathe anymore. I have never felt this type of betrayal and heartbreak before. I did everything Evan ever asked of me. I became the girl he wanted instead of myself. I was there for him when Cleo cheated on him. The tears start freely flowing. My cheeks are wet, but with each tear, I can feel the pain leaving my body.

As much as I feel like the world is crumbling around me, I also feel hope. I had secretly hoped for something to drive us apart, and this is it. A bubble of laughter escapes me, hysteria setting in. I am laughing so hard my sides start to hurt.I am free.

I take my phone out and do the one thing I can think of right now. I open my messages to Evan and send him a text.

I put my phone on the table. Evan immediately texts me back. I don’t bother looking at it. My phone dings again. I look down and see a text from Evie saying she is outside.I do not want to go to school today.An idea pops into my head. I am going to make a change. He loved the perfect girl that I had become. It is time to try something new and find who I am.

I leave my bag and walk out to her car. I open the door and sit down. I tell Evie about what I just saw and my plan instead of school. She quickly agrees and texts Grace and Naomi to meet us. She backs out of my laneway, and we head to town.

Fallingbrook is a small, quaint little town. Something you would see out of a fairy tale. Kids playing in the streets. Elderly couples are walking hand in hand. Everyone seems so happy here. It brings a smile to my face.

I feel this sense of longing in me, almost like I was supposed to grow up like this. Don’t get me wrong, I loved living in Daytona Beach. But looking back, it never really felt like home. It may have been the only place I have ever lived, but something was off.

Evie parks her car, and we both get out. Grace and Naomi are already waiting for us in front of a cute little thrift store.

Rows and rows of clothing are all I can see. The girl each go their way to find some things to try on. I walk over to the more modest clothing. The stuff Evan would expect me to wear. I riffle through the racks, but I can't decide what feels right. I go to the next rack with more modern clothes. I have seen girls around school wearing similar items, but they don't feel like me.

I don’t feel like I know who or what I am anymore. For so long, I tried to be perfect or Evan. I changed how I dressed and acted. I hurt myself to make him happy. I have changed so much in the last six months with him. Hell, I changed when I met him at five years old. I was a loud, rambunctious child, always playing and getting into trouble. Then I met Evan, and a switch flipped in me. I started blending into the background and never stood out compared to Cleo. I was shy and never wanted to stand out. I need to break out of that mold that I put myself in. I need to find who I am and who I want to be.

I browse through the entire store, but nothing jumps out at me. Nothing feels like me. I look over at the girls. They all have their arms full of clothing, giggling about whatever. I smile at them, but my heart breaks a little. I have never had a friendship like that. My spirits start to dwindle the longer we are in the store. I continue walking around while they try on their new clothes. I can hear giggles and talking from the back of the store, but I can’t seem to walk back there.

“Can I help you find something?” I jump at the intrusion into my inner turmoil. I turn around to see a sweet older lady. She smiles at me.

“Oh, um, I’m not sure what I am looking for.” I stammer out. She nods her head and grabs my hand.

“I have the perfect thing for you. I have been holding on to it for a while, and I think I know who I was waiting for.” She walks me to the back of the store and opens a wardrobe I did not notice before. She pulls out a black vintage leather jacket. “It should be about the right size for you.” She hands it over to me and looks expectingly at me.

The leather is soft but still in great shape, with no rips or tears. I put it on and smile as I look in the mirror. I twirl from side to side, examining it.

---