Page 122 of The Honeymoon Affair

Between us, Ellis and I set up the plates with the main course. She says she’ll bring two up and send Charles down for the others.

‘Tell him to bring down the other plates and cutlery too,’ I say.

‘Izzy didn’t eat the quiche,’ Ellis informs me. ‘She says she’s allergic to eggs. But she ate the salad.’

I allow myself a slight sigh of relief. In a moment of madness, I’d added extra jalapeño to hers. Not enough to make her ill or anything, but enough to make her splutter all the same. I regretted it the moment Charles went upstairs with the plates. All the time I’ve been cooking, I’ve been waiting anxiously to hear if she’s OK, (a) because it was a horrible thing to do and I’m really not a horrible person; and (b) because I realised that it wouldn’t be me who’d get the blame for the spicy quiche, it’d be Ash, and that wouldn’t be fair.

Clearly I’d never make the cut as a murderer. Maybe it’s just as well.

Chapter 33

Iseult

You can’t blame a writer for what the characters say.

Truman Capote

I’m a little embarrassed I couldn’t eat the starter of quiche because of my egg allergy. It’s not the worst allergy a person could have, but I come out in hives almost immediately and every part of my body itches like crazy. The last thing I want is to have an allergic reaction in front of Mrs Boyd-Miller (she’s asked me to call her Pamela, but it feels all wrong and so I’m trying not to use her name at all). I don’t feel she’d be totally sympathetic to uncontrollable scratching at the dinner table, so I pick at the salad instead, which is very, very tasty. I say this to Charles, who’s still a bit flustered about me not wanting the quiche, and the fact that some kind of kitchen emergency meant he had to bring up the starters himself, not that this is any big deal in my book given that our kitchen and dining room at home are the same space.

When Ellis says she’ll help by taking the empty plates to the kitchen, Charles jumps up and tells her that she’s not to bother and that he’ll do it himself. His mother comments on the inconvenience of it and he agrees, saying he’s considering asking Celeste to cook in the future. Though he adds that it’s not as though he entertains so often that he needs catering staff anyhow.

‘I keep telling you you should have more soirées,’ says Pamela.

‘Soirées?’ He raises an eyebrow and I muffle a giggle.

‘Scoff all you like, but there’s nothing wrong with great writers hosting evenings where people can talk about literature and discuss the important matters of the day,’ she says.

‘We usually do that in the pub,’ says Charles. He looks around. ‘Oh hell, where’s Ellis?’

‘She went to get the mains while you were talking,’ I tell him, and am surprised to see an anguished look pass over his face.

‘Maybe I should—’

‘Hey, everyone.’ Ellis walks in with two plates of salmon. ‘Here we go. Chas, can you nip downstairs and bring up the others.’

‘Is everything OK?’ He looks at her anxiously.

‘Fine,’ she says. ‘Your substitute chef is working away happily, doing a great job.’

He walks quickly out of the room while Ellis puts plates in front of me and her mother. I look at it in relief. I can eat salmon.

‘Charles tells me you have a book club,’ I say to Pamela ‘And that you’re on the radio.’

‘I’m the chair of a small but influential gathering, yes,’ she says. ‘And as such, I’m sometimes asked to share my reviews and expertise.’

‘Mum’s club was on that TV book programme with Mairin McGettigan last autumn,’ says Ellis. ‘Did you see it?’

‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘I don’t watch much TV, to be honest.’

‘That’s nice to hear,’ says Pamela. ‘Too many people spend too much time watching television these days.’

‘But there are some great series being made,’ says Ellis. ‘Particularly on the streaming services.’

Pamela holds up her hand. ‘I don’t need to know. I have one cable service and that’s more than enough. Because no matter how often I search the programmes, there’s never anything worth watching.’

‘Did you watch the movie of Winter’s Heartbreak on TV?’ I ask.

‘We went to the Dublin premiere,’ says Pamela. ‘It was a wonderful evening.’

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