Page 97 of The Honeymoon Affair

He always calls Charles ‘the Big House’.

‘He’s getting married.’

‘I thought I saw something about that after Christmas. Are you OK with it?’

‘It’s fine by me,’ I say, but then add that I’m a bit conflicted because his fiancée is very young and I can’t help thinking it’s a big mistake. ‘Which will mean more of his money going on a divorce settlement and him getting stressed out and not being able to write.’

‘You’re leaping over the actual wedding and going straight for divorce?’ He sounds amused. ‘When you haven’t even got divorced yourself yet?’

Josh is one of the few people who knows everything about Charles and me. He looks after my money, so he needs to.

‘We’re working on the divorce. As for her . . .’ I give him a slightly shamefaced look. ‘Josh – you’re a man. Do you all really believe that pretty young women fall in love with older men because of their looks rather than their bank balance?’

‘You think she’s a gold-digger?’ He frowns. ‘Charles is a catch, but not that much of a catch, surely?’

Josh is well aware of how much Charles earns. He sees the royalty statements, after all.

‘There’s a new book this year, which will bring in more money,’ I remind him. ‘And potentially another TV series. Admittedly Charles spent a lot of his cash when he first did well, but he’s much more frugal now. Except for his six-week Caribbean writing holiday and his New Year’s Eve party, of course. And the wedding. He’ll probably spend a fortune on the wedding.’

Josh laughs, and after a moment, I do too.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘His finances are none of my business.’

‘His income is,’ Josh says. ‘But his expenditure is entirely a matter for himself.’

‘And his new wife.’

‘Exactly.’

‘You didn’t answer me,’ I tell him. ‘Do you really believe it’s love, not money, in this kind of age-gap relationship?’

‘I suppose all men like to think they can attract a pretty young thing,’ he replies thoughtfully. ‘We want to believe we’re still macho and manly. Though I don’t suppose any young woman falls for an older man who’s unattractive and insolvent. In Charles’s case . . . honestly, he gets better-looking with age, the fecker. I envy him. And I say that as a straight man.’

This time it’s me who laughs. Josh is around the same age as me and isn’t unattractive – he’s shorter and less well built than Charles, but he takes care of himself. His hair, which he wears in a buzz cut, is salt-and-pepper grey. His eyes are grey too. He wears decent suits, although his shirtsleeves have buttons, not cufflinks as Charles prefers. On the other hand, I’ve never seen Josh in casual gear, while Charles can occasionally look positively feral when he’s writing, happy to wear the same worn-out T-shirt and trousers for a week. The two men know each other because they worked at the same company for a short time, and Charles recommended Josh to me when I was setting up. He said that much as he found it therapeutic to do his own accounts, it would be a nightmare for him to do the agency’s too, and I agreed on the basis that it would be a massive conflict of interest for him to know what my other authors were earning, and would spark too much paranoia in him for me to deal with.

‘Want to grab lunch?’ asks Josh.

I nod, and we head to an upmarket deli close to Baggot Street, where I order a warm chicken salad and Josh asks for a steak sandwich. The deli is full of business people, and I feel a sudden sense of belonging. I’m a business person too. At a business lunch. With my accountant. Josh is good company, and his conversation about the agency is upbeat and positive. He tells me I’m doing better than a lot of small businesses and I should be really proud of what I’ve accomplished. For some unaccountable reason his compliment makes me well up, and I pretend to choke on a crouton so that I can wipe the tears from my eyes.

‘I’d be lost without Charles, though,’ I say, after I’ve assured him I’m not going to choke to death and have taken a sip of my mineral water.

‘It’d be a serious hole in your income,’ he agrees. ‘But who knows for how much longer he’ll write?’

‘Years, I hope.’

‘I’m amazed he’s written so many already, to be honest. Unlike your Lucy Conway and Janice Jermyn, with the books as regular as clockwork, the Booker people tend to take their sweet time about it.’

‘Because they’re polishing their work.’

‘Yet Charles manages to get one out fairly regularly.’

‘I know. I think he believes that if he stops, he’ll lose it,’ I say. ‘Even though he also believes he’s an absolute genius.’

‘Charles makes you money because you get him really good advances for his books and because of all the other rights you sell for him,’ says Josh. ‘But Janice and Lucy provide a very dependable, regular source of income. As an accountant, I like dependable, regular sources of income.’

‘They’re both wonderful,’ I agree. Then I dig into my handbag and give him proof copies of their next books. He’s a fan of Janice, and his wife, Paula, loves Lucy.

‘Thanks,’ he says, as he puts the Janice Jermyn in his case. ‘You can keep the Lucy Conway, though.’

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