Page 26 of From Rivals to I Do

keeping me up. Ever since Joseph showed up, I’ve been a wreck. Thankfully, Sparrow and the gang have been busy with other things,

otherwise, they’d see the wads of tissues all over my dresser and my swollen eyes from crying. Or the takeout containers haphazardly

sprawling out of my wastebasket.

I had accepted it all. All the pain of losing the animals. All the pain from losing him. But when he showed up, so arrogant, thinking I’d

taken him back, it really messed me up. More than I thought it would, to be honest.

His words had been like him taking his fingers, sinking them into my flesh, and prying those scars apart. Every rip from his words

leaving me bloody and bruised all over again. The memory of finding him and that girl in our bed replaying in my mind, and all my

emotions about it resurfacing and surging like a raging typhoon, destroying me mentally all over again.

I can’t live my life like this forever, I think to myself as I get up to use the bathroom. I am starting fresh, and even though it’s not quite the way I thought life was going to go, it’s still my life. So why not make the best of it?

After using the restroom, I make it back to the bedroom, eyeing the phone lying there in its pink case on my nightstand. I grasp it in

my hand as I turn the screen on and ignore the nerves creeping up.

Sparrow is right. There’s no reason to sit here and dwell on what once was. All I have is right here, and right now. . . and I want to love in the moment before it passes me by.

I decide to go through the whole process of starting a profile, and once my login is set up, I’m surprised at how in depth it all is. I’m

asked the normal questions I assumed it would—name, birthday, where I’m from, what I do for a living—but then it asked some other questions.

What music do you like?

What movies do you like?

If you were on a desert island, what would you bring with you?

Then came the multiple-choice questions. Everything from political alignments to physical preferences—which, though a lot of them

didn’t apply for me, seemed like a nice touch—and a whole bunch of other stuff. In fact, by the end of it all, I was surprised at how

intuitive it all seemed to be. It was like it was asking everything under the sun to try to push you toward like-minded people.

While the rest of the questions were sort of fun, the final question gave me pause.

What are you looking for?

What am I looking for, exactly? I ask myself. I’m definitely not looking for a relationship. That’ll just get my heart broken all over again.

And how many people are really going to be on here that aren’t looking for a relationship or a one-night stand? Probably not many.

No! I scold myself. I’m not going to be pessimistic! I am going to put myself out there! So, under the question, I put friends and maybe

something more, leaving myself open to whatever happens to go with the flow. Seems like a good enough answer as any.

The app then pops up a prompt to add a picture, and immediately, I feel my anxiety kick in. I’ll have to take something tomorrow when

I’m all made up, I think to myself. And so, I click ‘do this later, and the app announces I’m all done with fancy little stars and fireworks,

telling me that I’m ‘ready to make friends!’

Huh, that was easier than I thought, I think to myself as I look at the time. Jeez, it’s already one in the morning? I’ll have to check this out

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