Page 56 of From Rivals to I Do

“Will I. . . be like this forever?” I ask, and the doctor sighs.

“We are unsure at this time,” Doctor Trachner says. “But since you’re awake, I would like to have you participate in a simple neurology test. I want to see what you can remember.”

The doctor then asked me a slew of questions about my kids, my house, and my wife. He also asked me who the president was at the time, which I couldn’t remember.

“Thank you, I’ll let you rest now,” the doctor says when I’ve answered everything I could. “Remember, don’t cause him any undue stress,” he tells Zack before he walks out and leaves us alone.

“Want to watch some TV while we wait for Jeff and Noah?” Zack asks.

“Sure,” I say. “Not like I’m going anywhere.”

Zack gets me some water, and he helps me sip it with a straw before he puts on Gunsmoke, the two of us are silent as we watch the magic of technicolor on a small, flat screen.

The silence lingers for a while as he sits there, feverishly texting someone on his phone. I’m not sure if he’s afraid to talk to me, or if he’s unsure of what to say or what not to say. So, I decided to poke at him and see what he knows. The doctor summarized what happened to me, but it isn’t making sense in my head. I mean, why would a horse kick me?

“Zack,” I say.

“Yeah, what’s up, Dad?” Zack replies. “Do you need me to get you something? Want me to see if you can eat?”

“Maybe in a bit, but right now I need to ask you something,” I say.

“Sure,” he replies.

“Do you know what happened to me?” I ask.

“Not exactly,” Zack says with a sigh. “You and Mitch were helping wrangle the herd that somehow escaped, we still aren’t sure how. And then Tango reared up, knocked you off his back, and kicked you.”

“Tango. . . yes I remember,” I say. “He’s young but he’s a fine horse, not a mean or temperamental bone in that horse’s body. That doesn’t make sense.”

“What do you mean by young?” Zack asks.

“Well, he’s only a few years old,” I reply, but I can immediately tell by the look on his face that I’m wrong.

“Dad, he’s thirteen,” Zack replies, looking a bit sad. “If he was a baby, I would be a tiny kid, right?” It takes me a second, but I realize Zack is right. He’s a grown man, which means Tango would be an adult horse by now.

“Jesus. . .” I breathe, feeling a bit overwhelmed by the jumble in my brain.

“And what about Robert? Is he coming? You didn’t mention him,” I ask.

“No, he’s still in California,” Zack says, and though I don’t remember it, I am sure he’s right. Unlike the other boys, Robert was the wild one, and for him to head off to California makes sense to me. “Listen, the doctor said not to get you riled up,” Zack replies. “I think we should talk about this later,” he says as Jeffrey and Noah filter into the room.

“Boys!” I called out, trying to force a smile, but it stung. I put my finger to it, only to find a dab of blood there when I pulled it back to look. It’s either chapped or cut, but I’m not sure which.

“Hey, Dad!” Noah replies cheerfully, but I can see Jeffrey hanging back, giving a little wave. He’s always been sensitive, just like his mama was, and when he’s upset you just know.

“Hey, can I talk to y’all in the hallway please?” Zack says, and the other two nod.

“We will be right back, I promise,” Noah says as they go out into the hall, pulling up the door behind them. But not enough, because I can hear them talking fairly clearly. Save for a little hiccups here and there.

“Listen, I already talked to the doctor before about this, but we need to not force any memories and get him stressed out,” Zack says.

“Well, what about Darla?” Noah asks in a lowered tone, and the name gives me pause.

Who’s Darla? And why are they suddenly whispering? I ask myself. When I try to remember, all I get in return is a headache.

“Well, she works here on the ward, I imagine she’ll understand what he’s going through,” Zack replies. “I’ll text her about this later so it’s not a surprise. We have to be careful with him right now, Doc says he’s fragile. He’s got partial amnesia.”

“Better he doesn’t know,” another voice I don’t recognize says, and a man in a black shirt and jeans follows after it, wearing a cowboy hat and looking at me glumly.

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