Page 230 of From Rivals to I Do

that way, but I realized that day, I am free from it. Why I have not thrown them away is just stupid. I will throw every bottle out. I need you to know, that

as fake as our marriage may be, it is just as real to me, and I pray it is our reality one day. Me and Henry’s life has changed drastically since you walked

into our lives, you must know this.”

“I need some time, Jackson.” I manage to say, my voice heavy with resignation. Henry walks into the kitchen and overhears me talking to his dad.

Henry's expression shifts, his excitement giving way to confusion. "Why? Don't you want to play with me?" he asks, his voice laced with a hint of sadness.

Tears well up in my eyes as I kneel down to his eye level, gently cupping his face in my hands. "Oh, Henry, it's not about you, my sweet boy," I say, my voice filled with tenderness. "I just need some time to figure things out, to find myself again. Jackson please do not feel that I am trying to punish you, I am not. I just need time to process all of this.” After snapping at Henry this morning, I realized, I am dealing with insecurities and he does not deserve that, I feel so ashamed for allowing my frustrations to get the best of me. Henry deserves the love of a mother, and I question it. Can I be the mother he needs? Then I found those bottles”. I take a few steps back from Jackson.

Jackson's hurt is palpable, etched across his face like a scar. "Henry, please go to your room and change. I'll come play with you in a moment," he says, his eyes still fixated on me.

He takes a step toward me, reaching out as if to touch me, but then he withdraws, a mixture of pain and resignation flickering in his eyes. "Maya, please

help me understand," he says, his voice tinged with sadness. "I have told you the truth about my past, and want you to be assured, you are all the mother

and wife we need. I told you I was going to do my best to ensure Margaret or anyone or anything else doesn't make you feel inadequate. You don’t have

to leave; we can figure this out together."

"I'm sorry, Jackson. I do not mean to hurt you; I just need some time away from all this. I can't do this anymore," I confess, my voice trembling with a mix of

frustration and fear. "I feel so lost, so inadequate, and I know how you have tried to help me through this, but I don't know if I can be what Henry needs or

even what you need. I need time." I finally look up into his eyes and hold his gaze. What I see in them breaks my heart, but I can't stay here and cause him

and Henry more pain with my confusion.

When he speaks, his voice is laced with desperation. "Can't we talk about this? Work through it together?"

My heart aches at his plea, the ache of a love that may be slipping through our fingers. But I know that to find my footing, to rediscover my purpose and passion, I must take this step. "I appreciate your concern, but I need to do this for myself. I can't ignore the turmoil inside me anymore. I need to find clarity, to figure out what I want and who I am."

"I've packed a few things," I say, my voice trembling. "I'll be staying at Maria's place for a while, just to clear my head and find some clarity."

Jackson's eyes glisten with unshed tears as he watches me, his pain mirrored in my own.

"Maya, please reconsider," Jackson pleads, his voice tinged with a mix of sorrow and frustration. "You don't have to go. I'll give you all the space you need to clear your head, but you don't have to leave."

My gaze meets his, the love and pain entwined in his eyes is almost too much to bear. I take a deep breath, my voice laced with determination as I

respond, "I need this time for myself, Jack. Our marriage... it's not real. We both know that. I can't keep pretending, not when everything feels so

uncertain." I pause for a moment. "And there's something else. James called me earlier while you both were away... my paintings, they didn't sell. The art

show... it's canceled."

His eyes widen with a blend of surprise and concern. "I'm so sorry," he says, his voice gentle. "I know how much your art means to you. I want you to

always remember that I love you. I'll support you in whatever you need to do. If this is what you need, then I won't stand in your way."

The weight of my decision hangs heavy in the air as I gather my belongings, which have been carefully folded and tucked into my suitcase. The bedroom

feels stifling, suffocating me with its memories and unspoken tensions. I can sense the hurt radiating from Jackson's gaze, his eyes filled with a mixture of

sadness and resignation. Even Henry, usually full of energy and laughter, is sullen and withdrawn. He's mindlessly playing with his toys beside me, but I

know he's broken inside. But my mind is made up—I need this time away, a respite from the overwhelming chaos of my emotions.

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