Page 56 of Viper

“Oh shit,” Sage whispers, but sounds ridiculously giddy. “This is going to be good, I can already tell.”

“Anyway, I caught him, and he kept smirking at me and trying to play it off like he was putting a little extra sugar in my drink to sweeten it up for me or some stupid bullshit. My response was to throw my drink in his face, grab him by the back of the head, smash his face into the table, and then let him fall to the floor and drive my pointy heel into his ass when he fell face first into the floor. Except, I was a bit too precise with my foot, and well, it kind of impaled him in the asshole and?—”

“Oh my God,” Sage cries, bursting into hysterical laughter. Rose looks like she wants to bow down and worship her, while Syn and Izzy look a mixture shocked, horrified, and riveted. Myself, my asshole clenches and horror starts to slide through me at the thought of what that would have felt and looked like.

Eden shrugs. “It was honestly an accident. All I wanted to do was kick him in the ass, or put my heel down on his ass cheek and cause him a little bit of pain, but, yeah, that didn’t happen.”

“As far as I’m concerned, he got exactly what he deserved,” Rose announces.

“The entire club could hear the guy screaming,” Sadie laughs. “He was lucky though, she didn’t do anything more than cause a small little tear, but yeah, I think he learned a valuable lesson. And well, we were lucky that we had a whole bunch of witnesses that backed up the fact he tried to drug her, and she was only protecting herself, so she wasn’t hauled off to jail, but we got banned from the club.”

“They should have given you a plaque and free drinks for life,” Izzy says in disgust. “Especially since you probably aren’t the only one that prick went after.”

“It made the news briefly and a few other women came forward,” Eden assures her. “Not that he got much more than a slap on the wrist and a big fine, but I figured the high heel in his asshole was probably a better reminder to keep him from doing it next time.”

“Didn’t he try to sue you and try to get a restraining order on you too?” Sadie asks.

Eden nods. “Nothing ever came of it. The judge threw it out. Last I heard, he moved out of town not long after. Never heard about him again. Though I kind of hope that every time he takes a shit he remembers me and that pain,” she adds with an evil grin.

Jesus, this woman really is nuts. And I should probably be running the other way, but instead, I walk up behind her and say drily, “Baby girl, at this point I’m going to have to hide all weapons, and footwear to keep your ass out of trouble.”

She looks up at me with a smug smile. “And I’d still be able to take your ass down if you piss me off.”

I chuckle. “Counting on it.” I lean down to give her a quick kiss. “And I’m also going to cut this little Coven meeting short so I can get you and the other troublemaker home before it gets too late. Don’t need you missing out on any more sleep.”

“You just don’t want her giving us any more ideas,” Rose teases. “Keep you boys in line.”

“Rose, there has never been any doubt that you can keep our asses in line,” I laugh.

Rose looks pleased at that. “With the addition of the women around here, it’s getting easier to do. And with Eden included, things will be even easier.” She winks at Eden who nods in agreement.

“I’ve seen some of the moves the bailiffs use—” She laughs when I quickly pull her chair back, and then lift her up and over my shoulder before she can finish.

“Nope, they don’t need to know,” I announce firmly. The other women laugh, and I turn to see Archer watching us with a grin on his face. “I’m taking Eden and Sadie back to Sadie’s place, so I’ll be back soon. Behave and make sure you listen to your uncles. Got it?”

Archer nods and grins. “I take it you and Eden are dating now?” Archer asks.

“Viper, put me down,” Eden orders.

I ignore her. “Is that okay with you?” I ask him.

“Viper!” Eden hisses, pinching me, but I just smack her ass absently in response. She squawks at that.

Archer nods. “I like her.”

I groan when Eden manages to lift herself up enough to elbow me in the kidney, which has me loosening my grip on her slightly. I guess she’s done playing. I set her on her feet, and she aims a glare at me that has me wincing. “What do you think you’re doing?” she hisses at me. “You can’t ask him that when there are a bunch of people around? He’ll feel pressured.” She turns to look at Archer, but I can’t see her expression. “Archer, you don’t need to answer him right now about that. I know it’s a change, and you should be able to answer that when you get to know me more.”

Archer shakes his head and hands his controller to Milk before heading our way. “No, I don’t need to think about it,” he says simply. “Dad always says that you should go with your gut instinct, and I know you’re a good person. And Dad likes you or you wouldn’t be here. And Dad hasn’t had a girlfriend in a long time, so I have to figure if he wants to date you, that means he likes you too. And besides, if you treat me badly, I’ll just tell him and you’ll be out on your ass.”

“Archer,” I scold.

“No, he’s right,” Eden says quickly, looking at Archer. “If I’m mean to you or treat you terribly, then your father should be throwing me out on my ass. Because you’re part of the package and you’re a smart kid to know that. We don’t know each other very well, but I hope that we can at least be friends.” Then she winks at him and adds, “And don’t forget I showed you where my secret candy stash is, so that means you’re already top notch in my books.”

Archer grins and holds out his hand to her. “Friends?”

“Friends,” she agrees, shaking it.

“And, you know, now that you’re dating Dad, that means that I get extra presents, right?” he adds with a sly look. “You know, to make up for me being from a broken home and all that.”

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