Page 19 of Saving Love

“No, Cassian–”

He stands up and puts on a pair of shorts before handing me some clothes Ari let me borrow until I’m able to go shopping for my own stuff. I furrow my brow, tilting my head to the side as I look up at him.

“Are you kicking me out?” I whisper, trying not to let my voice crack.

“I… You can’t stay here,” he stammers out. Before I get a chance to ask what he means, Cassian grabs his phone from his bedside table and calls someone. “Wilder,” he growls. “Got a situation. Blakely needs to stay at your place tonight.”

“What?” I gasp. “Why? Cassian…”

He gives me a sharp look that has my protests dying on my lips. He’s determined to get rid of me. I see that now.

“She’s okay, I just… fuck, I had a nightmare, and…” Wilder says something over the phone, and Cassian grunts in agreement. “I need her to be safe.”

He hangs up after that and heads out into the living room. I’m left gaping after him, trying to wrap my mind around what just happened.

No more than two minutes later, there’s a soft knock on the door. I blink my eyes a few times, still in shock. Cassian wants me to go stay with Wilder and Ari. For my own protection.

I’m numb as I float through the bedroom door and out into the living room. Is this really happening? Wilder gives me a nod, and then I see Ari standing next to him, concern painted on her pretty face.

She holds out her hand, and I take it, letting her pull me into a hug. “A girls’ night will be the perfect distraction,” she says, dragging me onto the porch while Wilder stays and exchanges words with Cassian.

I give him one last look over my shoulder, and though I’m confused and hurt, I still hate the look of anguish and shame in his eyes. I wish he’d let me help instead of pushing me away. I can’t make him choose me. I can’t make him love me. That’s what hurts most of all.

11

CASSIAN

I’m a goddamn idiot. I knew it the second Wilder left. I shut the door and then slumped against it, sliding down to the floor and holding my head in my hands. I stayed like that until my back started to cramp, then I got up and began pacing.

“Fuck,” I mutter to myself for the tenth time since I sent Blakely away a few hours ago.

No, I didn’t just send her away. I rejected her. My girl told me she loved me… and I told her to leave.

“Fuck,” I say again, coming to a stop in front of my living room window. I can see Wilder and Ari’s place across the way, the lights still on. I’m sure Blakely is still awake, probably crying and wondering what she did wrong.

It’s that thought that sends me over the edge. It’s not her fault. She did nothing wrong. Blakely put her heart on the line, and I made a rash decision based on fear.

I only hope it’s not too late to make it up to her.

I grab a t-shirt as I head out the door, getting dressed as I sprint toward Wilder’s cabin. No sooner do I raise my hand to knock on the door than it flies open, revealing Wilder standing there, an arrogant smirk on his face. “I thought I might see you again tonight,” he says. “The girls are in the back.”

He steps out of the way before I knock him over. Smart man.

Ari’s muffled voice says something, and then Blakely sniffles, choking back a sob. It kills me to know I caused her pain.

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” she says weakly.

“Nothing,” I answer, storming into the room and falling on my knees in front of her. Blakely’s eyes widen in disbelief, a fresh round of tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry,” I say over and over again.

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” she whispers.

I take her hands in mine, needing to touch her in some way. "I love you, Blakely. I love your gentle spirit and tinkling laughter. I love watching you grow into a stronger woman each and every day. I love your smile, especially when I'm the cause of it. I love the way you feel in my arms, the way your cheeks flush when I praise you. I love everything about you, and if you'll forgive me for my momentary lapse in judgment, I'd like to spend the rest of my life making up for it."

My girl blinks at me, my words finally registering. “You… love me?”

“So fucking much,” I promise. Standing from my position on the floor, I pull Blakely up with me, drawing her into my arms. “What do you say? Can I take you home and start making it up to you right now?”

“Yes, please,” she murmurs into the side of my neck.

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