Page 156 of Hidden Empire

Jade lets out a relieved breath. “Are you saying that because I’m pregnant or would you trust that I love him even if there were no babies?”

“It would be much more begrudgingly without them,” I admit, unwilling to lie. “But I would still accept your choice, sweetheart.”

Her smile grows substantially. “Really?”

“Being a father, as I’ve learned, is about giving your children as many opportunities as you can. What they do with what they’re given isn’t meant to be controlled. It’s your life, Jade. I’m here to make sure you stay safe, healthy, and happy. Outside of that, it’s not my job to direct you, as hard as that may be.”

My daughter nods, breathing out. “When I first got here, Matteo said you’ve always wanted a girl. Is that true?”

A tricky question.

“I’ve always loved my boys,” I preface quickly. “I’ve never wished they were anything other than who they are. But yes, I always hoped that I’d have a girl as well. Daughters are a gift, just as much as sons are.” Maybe even more.

Her lower lip pushes out, eyes softening as she takes in the information. “I always wanted a dad,” she admits. “I used to ask about you.”

“Sweetheart.” I don’t know what to say because how can you make up for almost eighteen years of absence? If I knew about her, I’d have come for her.

No questions asked.

“Remember when we talked about my nose?” she asks, a guilty look creeping up on her face. A horrible feeling spreads in my stomach like I know what she’s going to say before she says it. I can just feel it’s going to hurt.

I nod, attempting to remain calm.

“I’m sorry I lied,” she whispers, voice haunted and hollow. “I wasn’t really five, I was three, an?—”

“You didn’t fall,” I finish for her, knowing it must be true despite how badly I want it not to be.

“That was the first time I really cried for you,” she whispers. “At the hospital, I was screaming for my dad, but Kim just told them I didn’t have a dad, and I hit my head too hard, so I was confused.”

She cried for me. At three years old, she was broken, bleeding, and scared, and I couldn’t be there for her. I could fucking hang that demented cunt for touching my daughter, and I will never be able to get over that. Time was stolen from us in a way that can’t truly be made up for.

Fuck if I’m not going to try my damndest at it, though.

“I’m so glad I met you,” she bursts out, tears pricking behind her eyes in a blink. “Life is so meaningless without this family. You ch-changed everything for me.”

Fucking hell, I’m about to cry in front of my kid.

“Jade—” I croak, coughing to clear my throat of incoming emotion. “There isn’t a day that’s passed since finding you that I haven’t thought about how angry I am with myself. I should have never?—”

She sniffles, wiping at her wet eyes.

“I should have checked on your mother after our encounters ended. I’d gotten Alina pregnant with condoms before, and I shouldn’t have assumed that it would never happen again. You should have grown up here. I should have held you, raised you, and lived with your laughter and cries filling this house. I should have?—”

“S-stop,” she speaks up. “It’s okay, Dad. I’m here now.”

Water rolls down my cheek, and I shake my head. “It's not okay, Jade. What you went through in that house…” It gives me a stomachache just to think about it. “I could have prevented it. I was irresponsible, and you paid the price.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she insists. “I could never blame you.”

I’ll blame me enough for the both of us. “Regardless of blame, I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for missing so much of yours.”

This is a promise I will never break. Not even death will take away my ability to keep my daughter happy. If I leave this earth before making up for lost time, my sons will fill in for me.

“You’ve already made up for it,” she whispers, composing herself. “I used to think that maybe I would be able to escape that town and make a better life for myself. I imagined working at a diner for shit pay and getting a roommate to share a tiny apartment with. Or somehow managing a scholarship to college.”

Not making me feel better with those options, sweetheart.

“But that's what I imagined for myself before you blew every dream out of the water in a matter of days. Overnight, I had a family, money, comfort, and the ability to live in a way that I thought only movie stars experienced. I didn’t have the best time growing up, but trust me when I say it’s been more than worth it. I would do it all over a hundred times just to be right back where I am right now, and it would still be worth it.”

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