Page 91 of Stargazer

“Thanks, Riv. I’m good though. I’ll be with Billie and Kit for some girl time. But have fun with the pack and be safe. I’ll see you in a few days when you’re back.”

“Sounds good, Vee. I will. Call me if you need anything, but Sky will be around if it’s anything time sensitive.”

We said our goodbyes and then I was out of the car and stuffing my face with pastries minutes later. With a takeaway coffee in hand, a notion that always felt oddly satisfying to me, I strolled around the busy streets, walking in and out of stores, running errands—that I had consistently been putting off—and talking to people I hadn’t seen in a while until I found myself in the one bookstore Saint Claire had. My happy place. I didn’t know how long I spent looking at books and flipping through pages, but when there were no more options to explore and my hands were sufficiently full of new purchases, I finally left.

Then I called Kit and Billie.

The three of us sat on the hood of one of the academy Jeeps as we devoured the fries they’d brought with them—my ultimate comfort food.

I swear I could have kissed them for rocking up with the takeaway bag from Max and TJ’s. But there would be no more kissing from this girl. None at all.

I had parked up at one of my favourite lookout spots along the mountains, the view from up here making the town look like little fairy lights glistening among the twilight sky.

The girls pulled up not long ago, after I’d finished doing everything I could to appropriately distract myself. I even got some reading in, popping open one of the new paranormal romance books I’d bought at the store. With a second coffee, I'd plonked myself on a bench nestled in the town square garden and read, surrounding myself with the peaceful sounds of the nearby fountain and the casual revellers going about their daily routines. Only after my butt got numb did I leave to come up here. But the book was so good that I didn’t put it down, reading in my new location until the moment the girls pulled up. Only this time, I had the comfort of my car with the beautiful view of the town changing colours in the dwindling light as my background; the perfect ambience for a book girlie.

“Distract me,” I urged my friends with a dramatic sigh, leaning back against the windshield in defeat and stuffing my mouth full of salty, potatoey goodness.

“Billie hooked up with Santi.” Kit grinned like a Cheshire cat.

I choked on my fries, hitting my chest a few times to clear my throat and passageways.

“Excuse me?” I managed to get out.

“I was going to tell you,” Billie defended. “Kit just beat me to it.” She leaned back next to me.

Kit had made herself comfortable on the roof of the vehicle with her legs crossed, her takeaway bag nestled in the space between them.

“It’s just casual,” Billie explained. “But we are seeing each other. Seeing if it could work. He’s one of the few people in the compound that hasn’t been with Kit.” She nudged our promiscuous friend, who almost fell off the car as a result.

Ignoring Kit’s glare with nothing but a breathy laugh, Billie continued, “I didn’t want things getting too incestuous, and well, he’s kind of a sweetheart. We’ve been getting to know each other a lot more at HQ and decided to give this a go. It’s very new.”

I was pleased to see my nickname for the Airbnb had caught on. But even more pleased for our bestie. Billie was a lover and deserved that love back. And from what I’d seen and experienced of Santiago, he was quite unlike most of the compound boys. He was equally as sweet and kind as he was fierce and badass. The guy didn’t play games. And that was a big win in an academy full of brash, self-assured, presumptions hunters with a lack of respect for rules.

I threw my hands around her, planting a kiss on her cheek. “I am so happy for you! He seems like the perfect match. Someone who is worthy of all your awesomeness.”

She chuckled. “Thanks, Vee. You’re a sweetheart. We’ll see how it goes.”

“She didn’t come back to bed all night!” Kitana blurted out, wagging her brows suggestively.

Our discussion continued down that general line for a while until my news about what had occurred this morning inevitably came out. I had told them I needed emergency girl time when I’d texted and there were no questions asked. They had no idea what they were coming for but they showed up. With food. Like the amazing friends they were.

“Omg, finalllyyyy,” Kitana exclaimed. “So this is happening again?”

“I don’t know what’s happening, but I called Riv and told him what happened,” I emphasised.

“You did?” It was Billie that spoke this time.

“Yeah. He was super understanding and sweet about it. Said that it was only fair since he kissed me when I first arrived. And that I needed to do what felt right in order to make a decision.”

That damned decision that I was avoiding like the plague.

“That fucker.” Kit’s brows were pinched as she threw her hands up, exasperated. “It would be so much easier for you if he freaked out and acted like a dick. But no, he has to be all sweet and kind. Makes it so hard for me to hate him.”

“Tell me about it,” I agreed with a frustrated laugh. Not that I wanted her to hate him. Not this time. But clearly this meant she didn’t. Which was progress.

I groaned. “I hate this. I’m all confused and conflicted. I feel guilty for kissing Griffin but not because it didn’t feel right. And then I simultaneously feel guilty for running away from him and avoiding him all day. I don’t want to deal with this. I was trying to keep my distance until I figured it out, but kissing him was not keeping my distance. And it sure as hell was not part of the plan.” I sighed in defeat. “I’ve always found him so fucking hard to resist and today I crumbled.”

Kit looked at me with compassion, her pale blonde hair glowing silver in the luminous light that the half-moon emitted. “Girl, I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think this is going to eat you alive until you choose. You need to make your choice.”

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