Page 86 of Stargazer

So instead, I kept them both at arm’s length. I wasn’t giving either one a real chance. Not letting them truly penetrate that wall I’d put up.

Part of me felt like I didn’t deserve them. None of them. Especially after stringing them both along.

Maybe I was better off alone. Maybe they were better off without me. Maybe I needed to focus on the bigger picture.

I hit the bag harder.

“Want to switch to me?” Griffin’s words cut through my flow, grounding me back to the present moment.

“If you’re offering,” I shrugged.

“I can handle it.” His grin dazzled in the sunlight. So, I pulled my gaze away from the heart-wrenching site, readying my stance instead.

We moved into the easy rhythm that felt so natural between us. Our breathing puffed and laboured within minutes.

“Thank you,” I found myself saying. “I needed this.”

My hits didn’t cease as I spoke but Griff took me off guard and somehow pushed me against the wall of the house, pinning me to it with my arm above my head. He gave me a look to suggest I wasn’t paying attention, but he didn’t reprimand me with words.

Instead, with his mouth dangerously close to my neck, he just said, “I aim to please, Supernova.”

Warm air from his breath made the hair on my skin raise and for a quick moment, knowing he couldn’t see my face with his own crooked into that crevice, I soaked it in, closing my eyes and biting my lip.

Holding back a silent moan.

Taking in a deep breath.

Cherishing the moment of closeness between us that we’d avoided for a while now.

He seemed to inhale too, as if he could breathe me in. Draw in more of me. Like that would satiate him for now.

He sighed against the column of my neck and then let me go, pulling back and putting distance between us again. Not too much, but enough that I wasn’t lost to the feel of him anymore. Enough that we were no longer touching.

I tried to regain my composure, taking off my boxing gloves and then rubbing my wrists.

“Being your friend is torture. It’s almost impossible, after what I’ve had with you. After the connection that’s built between us.” He breathed out the words as he took his gloves off too, depositing them on the outdoor rack against the wall before resuming his position in front of me.

His eyes roamed my body, not bothering to hide the gesture. “I’ll keep trying. But it’s not fucking easy, Venus. It’s not easy to not be able to touch you every time you’re near. To pull you close to me and wrap my fingers in that hair. It’s not easy to keep my distance. But I’ll try.” His grey eyes seemed to darken like a looming storm. “I’m not him though. It’s always been more than a normal friendship between us. I’ll try. If that’s what you need. I just want you to know this is the hardest fucking thing I’ve had to do. Things usually come easy to me. But not this. I’m trying every second I’m with you and every second I’m not.”

He licked his lips and rolled the bottom one into his mouth, as if he needed to moisten them to help get the words out.

For once, it didn’t seem sexual. It was the closest thing to a frustrated or anxious gesture I’d seen him make.

“If you don’t pick me, I’ll eventually master being your friend without wanting to rip your clothes off and explore every inch of your body with my tongue. But fuck. You’re a hard girl to not think of.”

I let his words wash over me. Let myself mull over what he was saying. Let myself consider … for once, I let myself actually consider.

If I did pick him, what would happen?

Would he get bored, like Sienna suggested? Her words from the club alley still sometimes echoed in my mind.

Would he walk away when he eventually got tired?

Didn’t I have to guard my heart with him?

CHAPTER 31

GRIFFIN

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