Page 99 of Stargazer

I was once again in a position where I didn’t trust myself alone with him, and a quiet lounge room with a large, comfortable couch seemed like too much temptation. So I insisted on an early morning training session instead.

Stretching had proved to be a harder task than I had initially thought. Stupid of me to assume otherwise.

I tried to avoid him, keeping as much physical space between us as possible. Just like I had when we got back last night … except then I used the other warriors as a buffer between us. Now it was just us.

A blue-tinged, violet sky was just beginning to turn pale at the horizon, preparing for dawn. Though it was mostly still dark outside, the lower stars were slowly winking out one by one, but the brightest star—the planet Venus—still twinkled as it watched over us. I watched it back, using it to distract me from the equally beautiful view of the male before me.

When my avoidance was obvious, due to my clipped words and lack of conversation, Griffin finally cracked.

His brows pinched in as he gave my stretching form a once over, lowering the large stick from his shoulders. Gripping it with two hands, he used it to anchor himself as he leaned forward against it.

I braced for impact.

“Do you even think of me? The way I think of you?” He calmly demanded, his voice still cool and even, but dangerously low. “Am I even on your mind?”

“Of course you're on my mind,” I sputtered, pausing what I was doing to straighten.

He searched my face, looking for answers. “I’m honestly not sure that I am. I don’t know how you can do it, if you feel even remotely the way I do.” The words were a deep rumble in his mouth.

I sighed, taking a single step towards him. “I have made so many mistakes. And I’m scared, Griff. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to make more mistakes.” My voice wavered, cracking with emotion as I tried to be reassuring and placating.

Hurt flashed across his eyes. Only for an instant before he replaced it with his stoic, strong mask. Even so, I noticed the tick in his jaw—the only physical sign he was frustrated. I knew he was trying to keep it together. To be calm and patient. And he had been. He honestly had. I just confused things more with my actions yesterday and my conflicting ones that followed the moment it was over. He had asked me if I was sure, he’d given me a moment to back out, even in the heat of it all.

There was no way I could have; I fell victim to my desire.

And he still had no idea that I had made my decision.

All I’d given him was mixed singles galore.

I knew I should have told him. But I also knew that once I did, there would be no holding off until River was back. Not after all this time and the crazy energy that buzzed and burned and flared between us. He had been keeping himself in check for the most part, fighting his own temptation, but once I told him, those fragile gates would flood open.

He blinked a few times before asking, “You don’t want to hurt me?” His voice dropped even lower, if that was even possible. Quieter.

“No,” I shrieked, no longer able to contain myself.

No longer able to fight what I felt. To keep it suppressed.

“I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to hurt him by admitting that I choose you. Especially without talking to him first!”

He stilled, his body straightening. “You choose me?”

“Yes,” I sighed, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. “No matter how much I try to deny it, no matter how much I try to push it aside, my heart has chosen you. It chose you from the early days in the compound and I constantly fought for it to make another choice. But I’m so tired of fighting. I’m so tired of being afraid.”

He placed the stick against the wall and moved closer to me.

“Then stop fighting it. Stop fighting this one thing in your life. Stop overthinking it. Just say yes and we’ll figure it out.” His husky voice was desperate with cautious hope.

“And what if it wasn’t you that I was saying yes to. What would you say then?” I challenged.

“I’d say we’d figure that out too. I’d just be saying it with a lot less lightness in my chest and a heart that’s beating too damn fucking fast for a whole other reason.”

By the knowing smirk on his too beautiful face, I knew he was remembering the heated moments between us yesterday; the answer that I was giving him without having explicitly said the words … until now.

The smirk turned into a full-blown grin. That rare angelic smile—full, and bright, and brimming with excitement.

Despite the pure hunger that also danced in his expression, he gently reached out to me and pulled me into him. Folded me in his arms as he held me tenderly.

For someone with such sharp edges, he could be so soft when it came to me. And I melted for it. For him.

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