Page 58 of Stargazer

“It definitely threw a spanner in the works. I felt guilty for how I left things with him, and I didn’t want to do the whole running away thing again. So my intention was to give him a few days and then call him to work through it all and make sure we could be amicable. Because that’s what I assumed, that it was ended given the casual label of our … uh … relationship. Him coming down to tell me he wanted more—I never would have expected it.”

I shook my head, still in a state of disbelief. “Don’t get me wrong, I can’t deny a part of me didn’t secretly hope it would happen. I just never in a million years thought it actually would. Especially not from Griffin. And now that it has, I just don’t know what to say or how to act.”

I paused, chewing on my fingernail. “I had almost already made the decision in my head that the door with Griffin was closed and that meant I could work things out with River and give him a second chance. Griff coming changed everything. I wasn’t prepared for it. I wasn’t prepared for him to offer me more. And of course, there’s still doubts about the lack of security there. But it still changes everything. It’s no longer a simple matter of trying things out again with River. It’s analysing who I want, and what would be a better fit, and hurting one of them, and … and it’s just hard.” I looked back into Kit’s perfectly lined blue eyes and softly said, “It felt amazing though. Having someone come for me.”

She nodded in understanding.

We’d all gone momentarily silent, lost in our various thoughts, until my sister voiced her own. “I didn’t realise they were both options you were thoroughly considering.”

I hadn’t exactly confided in her regarding the intricacies of it over the last week. It had been chaotic at home between all the planning, Knight stuff and Griff being around.

She continued, “I kind of just assumed that Griffin was where your heart was at after everything over the last few months. But you are still considering getting back with River?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, things are already different now that I’m part of the Knights. We don’t need to hide anything. He deserves a chance. That was really the only issue we ever had: the honesty. And that's because of who we are. Everything's out in the open now though.”

Celeste turned to me. “But what about Griffin? You clearly felt something strong for him. You can’t just turn that off.”

“Oh, trust me, I know. And I haven’t. A guy like Griffin makes his mark on you, and I’m still wearing the scars.” I slumped further down into the seat in frustration. “I really don’t know what to do.”

Skylar comforted me. “It’s okay to be stressed and confused, Vee. That’s what we’re here for. To be there for you.”

I nudged into her side, leaning my head on her shoulder in thanks.

Billie gave Sky an appreciative look and then reached her hand towards me. “Always,” she promised.

I placed my hand on top of hers, squeezing.

Then I pinched my forehead, trying to ease the headache that was on the horizon. “How do I even begin to make this decision?”

“Beats me,” Kit shrugged. “But we’ll help however we can.”

Billie pouted sympathetically. “It’s a tough one. I think you just need to keep yourself open to both of them for now. And be honest with them, which you have been. But you need to be honest with yourself too. Eventually, I think the answer will become clear.”

“I really hope so,” I muttered.

“For your sake, we all do,” Celeste mumbled.

I sighed again and then took a large bite of my burger.

CHAPTER 19

VENUS

With Summer heating up, training was becoming more and more unbearable. Especially being outdoors. I was not yet well-adapted to vigorous amounts of physical activity in the blistering sunshine, and while I usually revelled in being under the warmth of its rays, dreading what came after my morning coffee was becoming a common occurrence. Especially as the days passed and the rogues were still a looming problem that we faced. As was the upcoming full moon.

As the heat increased, the length of my shorts decreased. And so did the crop of my tops. Being hardly clothed wasn’t at all unusual for the wolves, and the Knights were always happy to show some skin. Meaning no one else seemed to care or notice.

If River did, he was the king of subtlety.

But Griffin … that boy was never subtle. I didn’t think the word was in his vocabulary. And while his lingering looks and suggestive words never ceased to get my flesh heating further, I had re-learned to control my emotions around him and act unfazed. But that didn’t mean I didn’t love it—or give it back to him.

It felt like old times. Our back-and-forth banter was like second nature. And somehow, I came to crave it once again. Was already starting to feel that buzz of excitement when I woke up, ready to verbally—and physically—spar with him. The feeling felt so natural to me, the energy sizzling in my veins almost as much as the summer heat on my skin.

But the warmth and love I felt being around River again was equally a sensation I was quickly becoming re-acquainted with. He had this way of making you feel like the most special person in the world. Being in his orbit was like being kissed by the sun. He was a blissfully enchanting force.

If Celeste wasn’t already regretting her choice to join in on training sessions, she definitely was now that Zander had made it his personal mission to annoy the crap out of her. To my amusement, she gave it back to him—dishing out an equally snarky reply to each and every one of his sarcastic comments or passes at her. Picking on her seemed to be his weapon of choice in this game between them, decidedly after she so blatantly rejected him on that first day. But he did it with that goofy smile on his face, one that grew every time she shut him down or got aggravated. He clearly liked to see her riled up.

His howling laughter only seemed to irritate her more, which in turn made him more excited.

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