Page 15 of Consorting with Romance

“I know most people do chocolate things for this holiday, and in general, buuuttt,” I dragged the word out,“I really, really like apple pie, so that’s what I made.” Chocolate was one of the few things that you could get in nearly every settlement even though it was expensive. I suppose there was just something about it that people had never really learned to live without. As the Holiday was a special occasion, it was somewhat of a custom to splurge on chocolate desserts.

He grinned like a child. “That’s my favorite.”

I raised an eyebrow in doubt.

“Seriously, if you’d have asked what I wanted, that would have been it.” He sounded so honest, so open.

How hadthis day ended up so perfect?

He smiled and reached into the fridge as I settled the pie on the table.

“I have cream. So, we can have berries as well if you want. Hell, you can eat every berry I have.”

I felt myself blushing as nervousness rushed through me. I fought it off and raised an eyebrow suggestively.

His demeanor shifted quickly. Clearly that hadn’t landed in the way I’d intended. I’d been trying to lighten the mood and let him know that my kiss hadn’t been an accident. I wanted him to know that if I had anything to say about it, it hadn’t been a one-time thing. I wanted more.

He shuffled nervously; his eyes cast down. I reached out to brush my fingertips lightly across his arm as I waited, scared to death of whatever he apparently had to say.

“I’ve never done this before, Jess. Not even this much of…this. I’ve never spent the night with anyone, never gone on dates, never been a couple, never compromised or fought with someone I cared for; because other than my sister, I’ve never really cared for anyone.”

I nodded slowly, fingertips still resting on his arm, waiting for the axe to fall.

“I want this to be right; to be good. To be everything it should be.”

My heart ached. How had he never had this before. “Me too, sweetheart.”

Ash

A visible shiver ran through me. Lord, a term of endearment. I’d never had one of those directed at me outside of work before. I had to be honest with him. I took a deep breath as he continued smiling and waiting the way I so often did for him.

“I don’t want to jump right into sexual things. If we’re going to do this, I want to do it right. In truth, I’m terrified that I won’t know how to do sex with a partner. It might be so automatic for me at this point that it will just be…”

I trailed off not knowing how to finish that sentence. God, I’m a child. I’m a grown ass man. A tall, strapping, independent grown ass man. What is wrong with me? He stepped closer and his smile was somehow even kinder thanbefore. His fingertips traced my cheekbone and I shivered again.

“It won’t be like work. I know that for a fact. But we don’t have to do anything untilyou know it as well.”

I melted into his arms. A consort asking the one human in the world that would date a consort to hold off having sex. Even to me it sounded absurd. But I couldn’t dismiss the fear that had taken hold in the back of my mind. I didn’t want to lose this already. I knew I would lose him eventually when he got tired of watching other people leave my bed, or when I said something stupid and scared him off, which I definitely would, or when he took an internship and left me behind, but I didn’t want to lose him today. Not tomorrow. Not yet.

He kissed the bend of my neck tenderly.He always seemed to know what I needed, and without another word, he pulled slowly away and changed the subject.

“Let’s eat before you burn the rest of it.” His soft laugh filled the room and warmed me completely.

The evening flew by and before we knew it, it was past midnight. After dinner, we'dpicked berries and moved dessert to the wingbacks in the living room. Conversation ebbed and flowed naturally, moving seamlessly from light and funny to deep and serious as we each found ourselves a bit less concerned that we might accidentally say the wrong thing and instantly ruin our friendship.

Jesse’s gaze seemed to catch on the clock that hung above the entertainment screen. He did a double take and swore. “Fuck, last train is in twentyminutes. I have to go.”

“You could stay?” I asked, terrified that he’d say no and rush out. There was a chance I’d wakein the morning and find this had all been a dream, and I wasn’t ready for it to end.

He looked surprised and thoughtful for a moment.“I have a class in the morning, I’d have to leave pretty early.”

I found myself responding a bit hesitantly, nervous that his early class was simply an excuse to take off.

“Still seems better than you leaving right now.”

His smile seemed to soften his entire face as he nodded once and settled deeper into his chair. I’d never seen anyone smile at me like that before and it left me breathless.

Our conversation continued, easy and unrushed until I found myself fighting to stay awake nearly two hours later.

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