Page 61 of Waiting to Love You

“Let’s not forget that the man professed his undying love to you just seconds before everything imploded,” Audrey says as she leans back in the chair and crosses her legs, as if she’s just dropped a major truth bomb on the room.

“I thought you didn’t hear anything.” I shake my head at my friends as Selina places her hand on her belly.

“I said we heard enough. I didn’t clarify how much or little we did hear.” Audrey jokes.

“Vance and I are proof that love can survive anything,” Selina murmurs. “You may have a few things to repair, but if he loves you the way we all know he does, then everything is going to be fine.”

We all nod in agreement. Selina and Vance went years without seeing each other before getting back together and finding their happy ending. Who’s to say that isn’t possible for me and Seth?

With the newfound kernel of hope provided to me by my own friends’ love stories, I try to imagine how life will be once Seth and I find our way back to each other. We can have family dinners and picnics in the park with Rebekah. He’ll be there to rub my feet after a hard day at the studio or bring me lunch when I forget to pack one. We can spend rainy days watching Disney movies with Rebekah tucked tightly between the two of us. He’ll be around to help me with the late-night feeding before wrapping his arms tightly around me to fall asleep at night.

Wait. I can’t get ahead of myself. He may accept that he is a father, but what am I going to do if he wants nothing to do with me? The same feelings of dread I felt every time I tried to tell Seth suffocate me once again. I don’t want to think about spending my life without Seth, not again, but if the only way I can have him is through our daughter, I’ll learn to deal with it. I will always do what’s best for her, even if it breaks my heart in the process.

“I know that look.” Audrey slips out of the chair and kneels in front of me. “We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it. Right now, we need to figure out a way for you to at least get Seth to speak to you again.”

“Food and promises of sex always seem to work for Vance,” Selina chimes in.

I give her a weak smile.

“Sex got her into this mess,” Audrey quips.

I scowl in her direction, and she lifts her hands in surrender, but she clearly doesn’t regret her statement one bit.

“You need to show him how you feel. That you see him as a life partner, not just as Rebekah’s father,” she adds.

I nod my head and look each one of my friends in the eye. We may not all have the same relationship status, but each of them has been to hell and back and found love again.

“Just like women, men want to feel loved and cherished.” Audrey leans in and motions for all of us to lean in closer, as if she is about to impart some major revelation on the male psyche. “But you can’t tell anyone their secret.”

We all giggle, and for the first time since Seth drove away from me, I feel as if things could turn out okay for both of us. I just have to hope that my instincts aren’t leading me in the wrong direction for a second time.

Chapter 17

Seth

Idrive around town aimlessly before pulling into the driveway of my empty house. As I turn off the ignition, I imagine how differently tonight would have gone if my curiosity hadn’t gotten the best of me.

I wanted to find a place to escape the pain that was radiating through my body, but I ended up where I planned to make all my dreams come true. Bristol and I would probably be snuggled together on the couch in front of a roaring fire, making plans for the future. Today was supposed to be the day that I laid my heart on the line and told her how I felt, finally making her mine once and for all. But then it all went wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.

I know I wasn’t delusional to believe that there was something between Bristol and me. I saw it in her eyes and in the way her entire face lit up whenever we saw each other. I could hear it in her voice when we said good night to each other every night during our phone calls. But for some reason, she’s still afraid to open her heart to me.

I’ve done everything I know to show her how I feel. That I want her to be happy. To choose to love me, marry me, start a family with me. Maybe we did those things out of order, but it’s still what I want. Seeing Bristol’s belly swollen with our child would make me happy beyond my wildest dreams, but I missed the chance to see that. I’m sure there are pictures somewhere, but it’s not the same.

I lean my head back on the seat and close my eyes, taking the time to think about where I want to go from here. Bristol and I have a child together, but can we salvage whatever is between us? Images of my life without Bristol next to me filter through my mind. It’s only been a few minutes, but it feels like an eternity. Everything feels flat and lifeless now that things with the two of us are so up in the air. As far as I’m concerned, this isn’t the end between the two of us, but how things proceed from here is up to Bristol.

I’ve been telling her repeatedly that I’d do anything to be with her, and I mean it. I’ve retired from the Marines, not completely because of her, but I’d be lying if I said she didn’t have something to do with it. I moved to Tyson’s Creek and have planned a life here for us. I was just waiting for the last piece to fall into place, for every part of my plan to be laid out before saying anything to her. But maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do. Maybe she would’ve felt safer telling me about our daughter and letting down the last walls around her heart. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

“Fuck!” The sound of my voice echoes through the cab of my truck as I slam my palms on the steering wheel.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, momentarily quelling the raging emotions running through my body before opening the door and sliding out. The porch light is on, likely switched on when Mrs. Thomas accepted the flower delivery earlier this afternoon. I stride toward the front door, stick my key in the lock, and turn it. The door opens slowly, and I step inside, pushing it closed behind me.

Mrs. Thomas did an amazing job making the house perfect with the few items I’ve been able to buy in such a short time. She decorated the entire entryway with sunflowers and daisy bouquets and candles strategically placed to make a path toward the living room, the only completely furnished room in the house. I have a bed and dresser in the master bedroom, but I had planned for Bristol to help me with everything else.

As I turn the corner, my heart aches at how perfect it looks. Vases full of daisies and sunflowers cover every flat surface and candles of all sizes are placed near them. The setting sun filters through the windows, filling the room with a golden hue.

“This would have been perfect,” I mumble as I pace back around the room, trying to wrap my head around the information I learned this afternoon.

My emotions are a mess, but the one that constantly keeps bubbling to the surface is betrayal. Almost everyone I call a friend had to have known about Bristol and Rebekah. No one said anything to me or even hinted that Bristol had a child. Maybe they wanted to give us space to figure things out together. Did she ask them not to tell me or to keep it a secret?

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