Page 58 of Waiting to Love You

“I understand you not wanting to tell me immediately.” I take a step closer to her, but she continues inching away from me. Bristol wraps her arms around her waist as if trying to hold herself together. She opens her mouth to answer but closes it again. “You were scared that I’d leave you again, weren’t you?”

Bristol freezes the moment those words leave my mouth, allowing me to get closer to her. I wrap my arms tightly around her waist. “Have you been raising her on your own?” I press, running the tips of my fingers along her spine.

“Yes, but it’s not what you think,” she croaks, trying to wiggle out of my grasp, but I tighten my hold.

“It doesn’t matter, Bristol. None of it does.” I lean back, cupping her cheeks in my palms. “I plan on spending the rest of my life loving the both of you.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “She will be as much mine as she is yours.”

“I’ve wanted to hear you say that for so long.” She nuzzles her cheek against my palm, clenching her eyes shut. “But you don’t know everything yet, Seth.”

Bristol covers her mouth with both hands, attempting to stop the sob from ripping out of her throat as she backs away from me.

“I don’t understand.” My eyes lock on her as I search her face for any answer, any sign of what I’m missing, but the only thing I see is fear.

“She’s yours.”

I stumble backward as if she punched me right in the chest. The walls of the room feel as if they are closing in around me as my mind attempts to process what she’s telling me. “We have a daughter?”

Bristol nods her head yes as she reaches toward me, tears streaming down her face. I want nothing more than to run to her, scoop her into my arms, and promise never to make her feel this type of pain again, but I can’t. I need to know what she was thinking. Why she kept our daughter’s existence from me for months.

The room goes completely silent as my mind reels, trying to search for the perfect explanation for her keeping my daughter away from me. On the one hand, I can understand her need to protect her—I mean our daughter—from the pain of losing a father. I was on the other side of the world, and we didn’t have any communication with each other. She had no way of knowing when I was coming back or if I even wanted a family of my own.

Bristol swipes angrily at her cheeks before she inches toward me. “Our daughter’s name is Rebekah. She’s eight months old. She has curly red hair and the most gorgeous hazel-green eyes with a golden-brown circle in the center. It always feels as if she’s looking right into my soul, the same feeling I get whenever you look at me. I always look into her eyes and imagine what it would be like for us to be together as a family. But I had no idea when or if you were coming back, and then you showed up out of the blue. What was I supposed to do?”

Bristol grips my shirt tightly in her hand, her eyes filled with pain and regret. “I never meant to hurt you, Seth. Please understand that I love our daughter more than life itself. I needed to protect her from getting hurt by all of this. To make sure that you wanted to be a part of her life as much as I wanted you to be, but you need to decide if that’s enough.”

“Please make this make sense to me, Bri. I understand wanting to protect the two of you from being hurt, but I’ve been in town for over a month. You’ve had plenty of chances to tell me about her, and you’ve said nothing.” I bite my lip to hold back a cry of pain as my heart shatters.

“I know.” Bristol hiccups as she buries her face into my chest, trying to regain her composure. She doesn’t touch me or wrap her arms around my waist. She’s giving me some space to process what’s happening. “It was unfair of me to keep her from you, but you weren’t here.”

“That’s bullshit Bristol, and you know it.” My hand clenches tightly into a fist at my side as I tilt my head back, searching for the words to explain what I’m feeling. “You were scared. Scared that someone might love you the way you’ve always wanted. That you couldn’t keep your heart locked behind a wall so no one could hurt you.”

“That wasn’t it at all,” Bristol says as she spins on her heels, trying to escape the truth of my words, but I grab her hand.

“No. You know the real reason you’re scared? It’s because you love me just as much as I love you. Not some superficial love, but the soul-deep, burning love that consumes you. The kind of love that will rip you to shreds when and if you lose it. The type of love your soul will never recover from. The same way I know you love our daughter.”

“You’re wrong, Seth.”

“Then tell me why. Why have I been in town for weeks, fucking weeks, and you haven’t said a goddamn thing?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you. I hadn’t seen or talked to you in over a year! You never once called me or even sent me a text. Heck, I would’ve settled for a smoke signal. I didn’t know if you were coming back. If you even wanted to be with me, and then you show up one day, ready to pick up where things left off.”

“You are all I ever wanted from the moment I laid eyes on you, Bristol Reid,” I bite out, emotions clogging my throat. “I called you every fucking chance I got. All I did the entire time I was over in the sandbox was think about finding a way back to you and dream about starting my life with you when I came back.”

“You called me?”

I nod my head and move toward her, unable to resist the pull I feel in case this is the last time I set eyes on her. “I’ll love you always.”

“Please, don’t go, Seth,” she sobs, her entire body trembling.

I plant a kiss on the top of her head before turning on my heels and leaving the room. I can vaguely hear someone shouting my name, but I don’t stop as I fling the front door open and stride through it.

I don’t know where I can go to escape the pain that radiates through my body. I should’ve stayed, given her more time to explain to me why she did this. But I can’t. Not right now. I don’t look back as I climb into my truck and pull out of the driveway, leaving my heart right there, shattered into a million pieces.

Chapter 16

Bristol

“This can’t be happening,” I sob into my hands as someone comes into the room.

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