Page 36 of Waiting to Love You

I glance at the door, wondering if I can make my escape without him noticing and turn toward the living room to grab my bag. I make it all the way to the couch and thread my arm through the strap when the floor creaks loudly.

“Trying to sneak out, are we?”

My eyes shoot in his direction and find him leaning against the counter, his muscular arms crossed over his chest.

“No. I was checking to see if I had any missed calls.”

“You don’t.”

“What?” I try to stay calm, but in reality, I’m freaking out.

“I shoved everything back into your bag after it fell off the couch last night, your phone included,” he says as he brings a cup of coffee over and sets it on the table.

My phone chimes, and I rummage through my bag before pulling it out. A text from an unknown number appears on my phone. “Let me guess? Your…” My voice trails off as I remember that night before he left for deployment.

I should have just let him leave, cutting him off and forgetting what happened between us, but instead, I slipped a piece of paper with my number on it into his hand. After he left, I waited for him to call. To tell me how much he missed me and couldn’t wait to come home to me, but after about a month of nothing, I gave up hope.

Then I found out I was pregnant with Rebekah shortly after, and everything changed. I didn’t have time to daydream about the man who stole my heart. My only focus was taking care of her. Every time an unknown call came through on my phone, I’d pick it up and pray to hear his gravelly voice on the other line, but it was always someone trying to sell me something or contact me about my car’s extended warranty, and I stopped answering them.

He raises his phone and shakes it from side to side, staring directly into my eyes. “You gave me your number. Hopefully, you answer the phone when I call this time.”

Call? Nope. No way. He can’t call me. I can’t risk the chance of him hearing a crying baby in the background and asking even more questions. No, thank you.

“Text,” I grab my bag off the table and back away toward the door. “I prefer text. No one ever calls me unless it’s an emergency.”

“Got it.” Seth stands and stalks toward me, and I back right into the door.

“Running away again,” he mutters in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine, before wrapping me in his arms and pulling me against his chest.

I step into his embrace, wishing that this moment would never end. Wishing that the two of us could remain here together, without a care in the world. I nuzzle into his chest, breathing in his scent, until my phone rings.

I sigh softly as I reach into my bag and silence it quickly. No doubt it’s Audrey or one of the girls trying to figure out why I haven’t come to pick up Rebekah yet. I’m sure they’re all champing at the bit to find out exactly what happened last night.

“Well, I’m just gonna go…” My sentence trails off as I reach for the door handle, turning it and pulling the door open slightly.

Seth steps forward and rests his hand on the door right above my head, pushing it closed with a click.

“Look, Bristol.” He tucks my hair behind my ears before cupping my cheeks with his hands. “Give me a chance. Let’s chalk the last year up to bad timing. I wish things could’ve been different, or that we met at another point in our lives, but we can’t go back in time.”

“I can’t do this right now,” I whisper, shifting my head to the side and pulling my face from his grasp as tears pool in my eyes. “This is too much.”

I need time to think, to figure out exactly how to explain to this amazing man that I stole the first seven months of his daughter’s life from him. I know he needs to know, but I can’t bring myself to say the words right now.

“Please, Seth. Not now. Please,” I beg.

Seth stares into my eyes, pleading with me to give him an answer and put us both out of our misery, but I can’t. I drop my head to his shoulder. “Let me grab my keys, and I can drive you home.”

“No need,” I say flatly, lifting my head off his shoulder. “I live a few blocks down the street.”

“I won’t keep you, then.” He kisses my forehead and takes a step back, giving me space.

I open the door, but before leaving, I turn back. I want to tell him everything, to admit that I still feel the connection between us and want to see where things go. That I wish all the same things, but I just need more time. Time to figure out how to explain. But I can’t right now. There are only two words that come to mind.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I slide out the door, not even bothering to shut it behind me.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I turn right at the end of the driveway. I don’t dare look back. I know he’s watching me walk away. I can feel his eyes on my back, begging me to come back to him, but I can’t.

I hope he understands I need time to think. To understand how he can be so sure about me, about us. He told me that he came to Tyson’s Creek looking for me, but I just can’t wrap my mind around it. What’s going to happen if things don’t work out between us? What is he going to do then? Pick up and move somewhere else? Or worse, find someone new? On top of all that, he has no idea that the enormous secret I’m keeping from him could change the way he feels about me entirely. Either way, I can’t say a thing about Rebekah until I know how long he plans on staying in town. That he won’t pick up and leave if things don’t work out between us, and I can’t even think about introducing him to Rebekah until then.

---