Page 28 of Waiting to Love You

“Don’t say that,” she murmurs.

“Why not? It’s true,” I reply with conviction, trying to pour every emotion I’m feeling into my words.

“It can’t be true. It can’t.” She tries to pull away from me, but I tug her hands slightly, causing her to lose her balance and fall into my chest.

“I can see spending the rest of my life with you, worshipping you.” Tears spring to my eyes as I bury my nose in her neck, clinging to her body like it’s an anchor holding both of us together.

“Seth, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. Please.” Her voice breaks slightly.

I wrap my arms around her and bury my nose in her hair, hoping to commit her smell to memory so I never forget this moment while I’m away. “I meant every word, Bristol. I understand how you feel about being with a man in the military, and I respect that, but why are you doing this to us? I know it has to be something more than the fact I’m in the military.”

“I can’t do this again, Seth. My dad…” Her voice cracks slightly. “He always made promises he couldn’t keep. Hell, after a while, he stopped trying, and it broke me. I refuse to feel pain like that ever again.”

“I’m not your father,” I whisper.

A lone tear trickles down her cheek, and I release her waist and catch the next one as it falls, brushing my index finger under her eye.

“I just need you to hold on and believe in me. Believe that I’ll come back to you.”

I pull back slightly and stare into her eyes. Those emerald-green depths swirl with uncertainty and doubt, but also hope, and she sobs as she steps out of my embrace.

“You can’t promise that, Seth. You’re going to war. You could be killed, left behind, or taken by the enemy. There are so many things that can happen to you, things out of your control. You can’t promise me you’ll come home no matter how much both of us may want you to.

“Every time someone in uniform walked past our front yard, my sister and I would hold our breath, tears filling our eyes as we waited to see if they’d turn and head up our driveway toward the front door. Thankfully, they never did, but then we’d feel sick to our stomachs for being glad that someone else was getting the news we were dreading. That he was knocking on someone else’s door instead of ours, ruining their lives forever with the news their loved one wasn’t coming home.”

Bristol covers her mouth with both hands, trying to hold back the sobs wracking her body, her head swinging back and forth as she tries to regain some of her composure. “I can’t live like that again, Seth. I won’t.”

Everything else fades into the background as she continues to back away from me, but I follow her movements. My mind races, trying to find some way to help her understand how badly this is hurting me, too, but she holds up her hand and freezes. I watch as she wraps her arms around her waist, as if trying to hold the pieces of her soul together. As if she’s gathering the strength she needs to walk away from me. From us.

“You’re right, I can’t promise you that, but what I can do is tell you I’ll do everything in my power to come back to you.” I clench my fist at my side as my own eyes fill with tears. “This isn’t the end, Bristol. Not by a long shot.”

Bitterness courses through my veins that fate could be so cruel. That it’d allow this angel to light up my entire world before ripping us apart and plunging me back into darkness. I have a duty to my country. We both know that, but that isn’t enough anymore. Why couldn’t we have met when we were younger, when we had all the freedom in the world to be together? I don’t doubt fate played a part in pushing us together, but I only wish it would have been sooner.

Bristol finally gets her emotions under control and steps closer to me, grasping my hand. She gently pries my fingers open on my right hand and presses a small piece of paper into my palm.

“Please be careful.” She gives me a watery smile before closing my hand around the piece of paper, turning around, and walking toward the end of the driveway.

I clutch that piece of paper in my hand. “This isn’t the end, Bristol. You and I are meant to be together,” I call after her, but she doesn’t turn around.

I’m glad she doesn’t, or my entire world would crumble around me.

“Earth to Seth.” Brady snaps his fingers in front of my face, bringing my mind back to the present. “Care to explain to me why I need to leave my own house?”

“Bristol.” I don’t even bother to explain further as I go back to rummaging in our fridge.

“Holy shit.” Brady gasps as if someone has knocked the wind out of his sail. “Anything you need from me? Other than getting lost for the night?”

I give up on finding anything edible in this fridge besides beer and some protein shakes—the perks of having our own personal chef downstairs. Not that we force Mrs. Thomas to cook for us every night, but it is nice to have a home-cooked meal to come home to.

Now I can look forward to that with Bristol.

I shake my head and chastise my inner voice. She only agreed to have dinner with me. Really, she didn’t even agree to it. Her friends accepted on her behalf. She could have come up with an excuse to refuse, but she didn’t. I can’t stop myself from hoping that she still feels the spark between us. I know that I’m going to have my work cut out for me trying to win her heart, but at least there’s hope. All I need to do is make it through tonight.

“No, nothing that I can think of. I’m gonna head to the store and figure out what I can cook for her.” I grab two beers out of the fridge before slamming the door shut and offering him one.

“Sounds like a plan. You know, you could always ask Mama for help. She would be over the moon.” Brady pulls the beer out of my hand and leans up against the counter.

“I know she would, but I want to cook for her myself.” I’m a little rusty, but I know the basics. I can come up with something.

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