Page 24 of Waiting to Love You

“Yeah, right,” I mumble, knowing there isn’t a chance in hell a man like him gave me a second thought after we slept together.

“Are you all right?” Selina asks as my mind snaps back to the present.

I look around and notice we’re in Selina’s car and heading toward the center of town, probably to grab a coffee before our pedicure appointments. I was so out of it I didn’t even notice my friends dumping me into the car and leaving my house.

“I didn’t say goodbye,” I reply as tears trickle down my cheeks. I know it’s not a big deal that I didn’t kiss Rebekah goodbye, but I’m still trying to process that Seth is back in town, and that, on top of my separation anxiety, is just too much.

“Are we going to talk about this?” Leia glances at me in the rearview mirror.

“Talk about what? I’m excited to be having a girls’ day with all of you.” I try to feign excitement, but my friends see through my shield easily.

“More like avoiding the subject.” Audrey pulls me to her side, and I rest my head on her shoulder. “I get not wanting to talk about it, but you need to deal with this eventually.”

“What are you talking about?” Selina asks. “Although I have a feeling I know the answer already.”

Shame fills my heart as I look at Selina in the rearview mirror. She’s the only one in the car who doesn’t know about Seth being Rebekah’s father. I didn’t do it on purpose, but we weren’t as close when she lived in New York, and then she was so worried about what would happen between her and Vance that I pushed it to the back burner.

“I’m sorry, Selina.” I sniffle, tears filling my eyes.

“There’s no need to apologize, Bristol. I’m just a little hurt that I was the only one who didn’t know. I get it, I do, but that doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.”

I reach between the seats and place my hand on her shoulder. “I need to apologize. I didn’t keep it from you for so long on purpose. It’s just…” My voice trails off, trying to find the right way to explain, but she answers for me.

“Life.”

“Yeah, life.” I sigh, leaning back in my seat, my eyes meeting Selina’s stare in the rearview mirror before flicking them toward Leia as she turns around in her seat.

“What am I going to do? I can’t let him take Rebekah from me.”

I know in my heart that it was unfair not to let Seth know he was a father. While he was deployed, I could hide behind the fact that I didn’t know where he was or how to get a hold of him, but now my excuse is invalid. I know nothing about Seth other than that he is a United States Marine and the last man I should want to be in a relationship with, but that doesn’t seem to change the fact that just the mention of his name feels as if all the air in the room has been sucked out. My chest tightens, my heart yearning to be close to him once again. But that doesn’t change the fact that we have a tiny human together.

“You’re going to put on your big girl panties and tell that man he is a father. I know it won’t be easy, but it needs to be done.” Selina gives me a stern look in the mirror. “To be honest, you should have done it months ago.”

Ouch. Nothing like a healthy dose of reality from your best friend.

“Seli, I haven’t spoken to him since he left!” I pull out of Audrey’s embrace. “It’s not like I can just walk up to him holding Rebekah and say, ‘Hey, Seth. This is your daughter.’ Life doesn’t work like that.” I cross my arms over my chest and turn my attention out the window.

“I understand it’s not that easy, but you need to tell him before someone else does. How long do you think it’ll be before he comes looking for you?” Selina lowers her voice slightly. “I’m sorry, Bri. I know my mouth can get ahead of me sometimes.”

I give her a tight smile and nod my head. I know she means well, but it still hurts. I know I should have done a lot of things differently, but I didn’t, and no number of words can change that.

“I doubt I made that big of an impression,” I mumble, hoping that he only feels a tenth of the pull I do toward him.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” Leia screeches as Selina pulls into a parking space in front of our favorite coffee shop and shuts off the car. “Did you forget we all watched the two of you dance around each other for months before you finally got together?” She spins around in her seat, focusing all her attention on me.

I shake my head, hoping she will change the subject. I don’t want to think about the way his eyes scanned me from head to toe as if he was ready to devour me, body and soul, or how his voice would send a shiver of pleasure through me when all he said was my name.

Nope, no thinking about it. It will only get my hopes up. There is no way that things will be the same after not seeing each other for over a year. Not to mention, I don’t look like that girl anymore.

“We were all placing bets on when it was going to happen,” Leia mumbles. “To be honest, we were all surprised you guys weren’t an item.”

“We would have been if he wasn’t leaving,” I respond, dropping another bombshell on my friends.

How I wish that thing between Seth and I had turned out differently, but I refuse to subject my little girl to the same heartache I went through with my father. Now, if I could just get my heart on board, this would be a hell of a lot easier.

“Well, you don’t need to decide today.” Audrey gives my hand a squeeze and opens her car door. “And you promised me coffee for being awake at this ungodly hour. Let’s get a move on.”

We all giggle in response as we open our doors and climb out.

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